Cimddyon Water™ – New energy for you!

ci Part 3 of my little satire series about mysticism and pseudoscience…


THE solution for everyone who wants to help body and mind reach new performance levels!

With regular application – no, not application, that sounds too much like medicine – with regular enjoyment of our cimddologically energized water, Cimddyon Water™, [… babble something that promises heaven on earth or even better]

Through the energetically enlivened submolecular hydroxidation of the trillions-of-years-old primordial water and its new loop quantum structurization, you effortlessly overcome the gravitational effects of spatial-temporal distortion! [Nobody understands that? Fine!]

  • Jump 10 meters high – guaranteed!
    [At any rate, you can still jump 50 times 20 centimeters high.]
  • Lift a car with a single hand – guaran-damn-teed!
    [Toy cars are cars, too.]
  • Perfect for sportsmen: Pure water – absolutely not detectable by doping tests!
    [We must be in the market before the Olympics!]
  • [What to do about the lazybones unathletic ones? Ah, yes:]
    You rather work with your mind than with your body? Great, our Cimddyon Water™ also gives your brain a jump start and lifts your thoughts into undreamt of heights!
  • Also suitable for alcoholics: contains no hic particles!

no image The sale will start soon at a super special rip off introductory price – less than 0.01% of a Transrapid Maglev train line per liter! And why would you need trains anyway if you can jump great distances with absolute ease?

You are interested? You have questions? Call us and let us talk you into ask us, or pre-register without obligation: [insert extremely costly phone number here]

And already under development: Cimddyon Water™ Plus – you can even fly with it! [Drink it 39 minutes before you step into the airport… the… the central station, start yourself, erm, you basically start… your flight in the central station, er, not at all, you don’t need no airstation, airport, no ch… check-in and no ten minutes, because it is obvious, errrm.]

[Don’t forget the fine print:]

The effectiveness according to scientific criteria can never not yet be proven for all many cons glossed-over idiocies alternative methods. The same applies to the silly stuff products described in this drivel advertisement.

 

Fuck, which #&%$#$ published this draft with all annotations and corrections ?!?

 


Photo © gajatz - Fotolia.com

Jump in the water
C'mon baby get wet, get wet, get wet

Peter Gabriel, "Kiss That Frog"

Humor
Science

0 Comments

Links of the Week (2008/19)

Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

Evanescence, "Hello"

Computers
Finds
Humor

0 Comments

Green and yellow and…

Larger versions at Flickr

2008-05-11_07
2008-05-11_05
2008-05-11_01

A little waterfall with 1/8000 second exposure time:
2008-05-11_04

2008-05-11_03 2008-05-11_06 2008-05-11_02 2008-05-11_08

The top of the maypole of Pfaffenhofen/Ilm – of course fitting the “heart of the hop land Hallertau”:
Maibaum-Spitze

Our country was green and all our rivers wide
Queen, "White Man"

Nature

6 Comments

Bei Benutzung eins Markierungsfensters

Sorry, this post about German translation mistakes is not available in English.

Ev'ry man ev'ry woman ev'ry child
With a mighty Flash

Queen, "Flash"

Language

0 Comments

“Dem Jenseits auf der Spur” – oder auch nicht

Sorry, but this post is not available in English

I'm looking for answers from the great beyond...
R.E.M., "The Great Beyond"

Science

2 Comments

Red leaves, green leaves, 50mm and a gardener

And there’s a “1.4″ to go with the “50mm”, since this is about my new lens, the Canon EF 50mm f1.4 USM.

First test object, especially to compare the depths of focus, was my greening Christmas star (poinsettia), the longevity of which I wrote about here in late February, here first with maximum aperture of 1.4:

red-green f1.4

A greening poinsettia in May…

Photographed with aperture 1.4


And with aperture 8:

red-green f8

A greening poinsettia in May…

Photographed with aperture 8


If you’re interested: On this gallery page I’ve got seven more aperture steps.

Hey take me to the room where the green's all green
And from what I've seen it's hot it's mean

Queen, "Dragon Attack"

Nature

0 Comments

Shout as much as you want! *

Yuliya Discoveries of the day:

  • Alleged 100% Polish girls pretending they’d like to come to Australia are asking – unlike alleged half-Polish half-Russian girls saying they want to go to Germany, see below – not immediately for name and age and thus only demand 5 instead of 10 minutes of our valuable time.
  • Dating scam spam, despite including photos, is getting more and more boring, because their English is getting better (maybe because they use simpler Russian as basis for their automatic translations) and no additional automatic translations into German are used anymore. (At least as far as my mailboxes are concerned.)
  • The scammers are apparently not dying out, as well as those falling for them, since then they wouldn’t mail their stuff anymore.

 

Greetings from Russia

Greetings from Russia, city St-Petersburg to you dear friend!!!
I hope that you will read this letter with interest and answer to me soon.
I don’t know how I can start my letter to you.
I HOPE THAT YOU WILL READ THIS LETTER VERY ATTENTIVE!!!!
PLEASE, IT WILL TAKE ONLY 10 MINUTES, BUT PROBABLY MY LETTER WILL
CHANGE YOUR LIFE...........
FOR THE FIRST!!! THIS LETTER FROM INTERNET DATING AGENCY!!!!!!
I GAVE THEM THIS LETTER AND TO ME HAVE TOLD THAT THEY WILL SEND LETTER TO SINGLE MAN IN GERMANY.
This letter will be short, I think.
But if you will answer to me I will write more about me and about my life.
My name is Yuliya. I’m from Russia, city St-Petersburg.
I’m 1/2 Russian and Polish. My father from Russia. My mum from Poland.
I sent my pic to you, so you can see me. I hope that you will like it.
I’m 26 years old woman. My Birthday on May, 28, 1981
The purpose of my letter: I will get the Visitor Visa on May, 2008.
I want to arrive to Germany, but I have no any friends or relativies who
can meet me on airport. I really hope that you can do it for me.
Probably we can develop our relations also.

So, please, write me on my personal E-MAIL: yuliya.logvin@gmail.com

I hope that you will have interest after reading my letter.
Also I have interest also. Please tell me:

1 - Your name
2 - Your city
3 - Your age
4 - Send me your photo also

Ok, I will close for now, but I will wait your answer so much!!!
I really hope that you will give me chance to have meeting!!!
Waiting for your answer,
Yours friend Yuliya from St-Petersburg

Well, I would have preferred a real “new Anghela”…


PS: If you, dear reader, happen to own the rights of this photo that the scammers used: a brief e-mail is sufficient and I’ll remove it. Or do you know the actual source?

* If you don’t understand the title “Shout as much as you want!”: WRITING ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS is regarded as shouting in e-mails & co.

Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can do without

Tears For Fears, "Shout"

Finds

3 Comments

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