My regular readers might remember the scam mail series with “Anghela” with funny automatic translation, which I received in German and tried to reproduce in English, somewhat simulating the bad language – but Anghela isn’t alone. And this long mail, too, which tries just as well to grift travel money from overcredulous recipients or use them for money laundering, went to many mailboxes, with a few variations and different mail addreses – here the German antispam forum thread, and an example of another German commenting it.
As Terry Pratchett put it, Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind. In this case, diseasedly criminal, it seems. „about my letter please be not astonished! I saw your account on the web page of the acquaintances. This web page is called “FreundScout24” or “Meetic”.“ Now where? Can’t remember that? Diseased mind, hm?
„You have the registration there?“ I thought you saw me there – so why the question?
„I want that you understand me. I will strive to [German] write properly.“ Then why don’t you try harder in this mail? The first impression is often important! „I think that you man with whom I are I can happy be.“ I think that you should your school fee you get back: „You understand mine [German]? I studied [German] in the school and the college.“
„I upset am when I write this letter for you.“ And I’m upset when I receive spam. Well, at least you can laugh at spam like yours… „I will very very attend your reply.“ Oh, you too? Anghela was eager about that too.
„I want to have the serious and present relationships.“ But humor is also important. Even in an existing relationship. But then why are you searching someone at all? „The most important with that is with me my beloved man.“ So you were married? Widowed? I’m sorry. (Or maybe I’m not.)
„I have the grandmother and the grandfather. They live in Netherlands. They are in Netherlands 10 years backwards traveled.“ Traveling backwards apparently takes longer than forward. So probably in the car (slow reverse gear) or on foot, but not sitting backwards in a train.
„I am the usual Russian woman.“ Oh, the usual Russian woman sends automatically translated scam mails, then? I don’t think so. „I live in Latvia. My city Riga. You aware of my city? I live one.“
„I work in the trading company.“ The only one in Riga, apparently? „I am a helper of the chief accountant. O, my superior the very strict woman.“ I though O is rather the submissive kind, is that different in Latvia? „But ñïðàâèäëèâàÿ.“ Yep, I agree. „Maybe I like my job.“ But you’re not sure? Oh, yes, diseased mind, I remember.
„Also for me the honesty and the open-heartedness is important. I have the secret before you not.“ Oh? „What I want? Maybe this question importantest.“ Money, of course! Either that of your victims directly, or the money they are supposed to launder for you. „I read in the paper that in the internet the fraud exists. Sad.“ – „I sincere and honest before you.“ In reverse that means: if you’re not honest before me, I don’t have to be honest after you. Nice.
„In this moment my friend lives in Germany. The city B-Baden. My friend has joined the German man in marriage.“ Which German man (there’s more than one) did she marry to whom? Is she a reverend or something like that? „She found his loving man.“ I see, gay matchmaking. „I think that importantest in life the love and the loving human. I will make his man happiest.“ If he’s gay, that won’t work. Or do you mean the “little man”?
„We can be embraced sit.“ We, embraced by whom? Ménage à trois? But why just sitting? „I try to look for the man in Latvia. But all men only want the conversations and play.“ Yo, that wouldn’t be enough for me either. “Some” sex is mandatory.
„Maybe you know such a feeling? The loneliness. I sit at home one. In the street the rain goes when it’s autumn.“ And in spring, the rain’s driving a car, and rides a bike in summer? „Me it was interesting that to see happens with the natural aspect.“ So you don’t like wearers of glasses? Then this won’t work, unfortunately…
„Promise, to reply!!! I am obligatory I will reply. I will send you the photography.“ I hope so – Anghela sent photos in her first mail.
„Your Galina“ (and, luckily, not the male version of “your friend…” in German as Anghela…).
(Riga photo by Paula Moya (flickr), of course without any relation to this mail’s sender.)