Part 5 of my little satire series about mysticism and pseudoscience…
Achieve ultimate enlightenment! Be 0.9997 with everything! Or even one!
As Master of Cimddological Enlightenment you will be able to virtually turn your thoughts into a cimddological atomic force picoscope and bend the spin network in all 26 dimensions at will! Clear the way to your innermost light!
The path to mastership leads over just a few
tedious and absolutely overpriced bargain courses and seminars which really nobody anybody can afford! And the best: The first course is absolutely free of charge! * The succeeding courses will let you achieve easily step by step your 4D and 5D activation up to the 26D activation for all dimensions as well as the education to Microcim, Nanocim, Picocim etc., and at the end it’s just a little step to the European championship enlightenment mastership! Then everything is open to you:
- Take a bath in quantum foam for absolute recreation!
- Watch superstring wearers from closest distance without being noticed!
- Learn to fly without using
our extremely overpriced slopour Cimddyon Water™ Plus!
As mentioned earlier, we are always deeply honest, so we have to mention that this education is a little costly – each course costs 1000x of the one before –, since we have to finance
our luxury mansions in the Caribbean our research which demands a lot of material and energy.
To support your achieving ultimate cimddological enlightenment, you should also
ignore have a look at our additional offers:
- You have problems finding and cleaning your chakras? Just forget that rubbish and let your chuckras find you! Yes, that’s right, you don’t need to search for your chuckras, the ! (For a “little” compensation, of course.)
- Use our Cimddyon massage oil – an emulsion with our well-known Cimddyon Water™ – for your massages, it guides and amplifies the vibrations and energy of your massaging body parts; best use your (bald!) head or your buttocks! Who told you that nonsense about the hands transmitting spiritual energy the best way??
- Learn to use the phases of the moon for you and e.g. impale people you don’t like with the crescent – we will show you how!
You see we won’t skip anything to give you
lies solutions for all your life’s situations!
* plus hall rent, travel, accomodation and catering. Course duration 5 seconds approx.
Photo by Stas Perov – Fotolia.com