Enlightenment with Cimddology!

ci Part 5 of my little satire series about mysticism and pseudoscience…
 


Erleuchtung Achieve ultimate enlightenment! Be 0.9997 with everything! Or even one!

As Master of Cimddological Enlightenment you will be able to virtually turn your thoughts into a cimddological atomic force picoscope and bend the spin network in all 26 dimensions at will! Clear the way to your innermost light!

The path to mastership leads over just a few tedious and absolutely overpriced bargain courses and seminars which really nobody anybody can afford! And the best: The first course is absolutely free of charge! * The succeeding courses will let you achieve easily step by step your 4D and 5D activation up to the 26D activation for all dimensions as well as the education to Microcim, Nanocim, Picocim etc., and at the end it’s just a little step to the European championship enlightenment mastership! Then everything is open to you:

  • Take a bath in quantum foam for absolute recreation!
  • Watch superstring wearers from closest distance without being noticed!
  • Learn to fly without using our extremely overpriced slop our Cimddyon Water™ Plus!

As mentioned earlier, we are always deeply honest, so we have to mention that this education is a little costly – each course costs 1000x of the one before –, since we have to finance our luxury mansions in the Caribbean our research which demands a lot of material and energy.


To support your achieving ultimate cimddological enlightenment, you should also ignore have a look at our additional offers:

  • You have problems finding and cleaning your chakras? Just forget that rubbish and let your chuckras find you! Yes, that’s right, you don’t need to search for your chuckras, the chuckras will find you! (For a “little” compensation, of course.)
  • Use our Cimddyon massage oil – an emulsion with our well-known Cimddyon Water™ – for your massages, it guides and amplifies the vibrations and energy of your massaging body parts; best use your (bald!) head or your buttocks! Who told you that nonsense about the hands transmitting spiritual energy the best way??
  • Learn to use the phases of the moon for you and e.g. impale people you don’t like with the crescent – we will show you how!

You see we won’t skip anything to give you lies solutions for all your life’s situations!

Bla!

 

* plus hall rent, travel, accomodation and catering. Course duration 5 seconds approx.


Photo by Stas Perov – Fotolia.com

10 Comments

  1. S

    Der Kurs dauert mir zu lange ;)

  2. R

    Prima Sache.
    Du solltest dieses Angebot unbedingt
    noch per Massen-Mails an Hundertausend andere verschicken. :mrgreen:

  3. S

    Genau,aber vorher bitte noch 2-3 mal mit dem Überetzungsprogramm von google hin und her übersetzen.

    Deutsch-Französisch-Englich-Deutsch

    Damit das lesen dann mehr Spass macht.

  4. c

    Hundredthousand? Mit einem solchen geb von Kinkerlitzchen ich ich trotzdem nicht an weit, wenig trillions ein dürfen’ ; s schon sein!

    (Hunderttausend? Mit solchen Kinkerlitzchen geb ich mich doch nicht ab, ein paar Billionen dürfen’s schon sein!)

    Aber wenn der Kurs dir, Sebastian, zu lange dauert – tja, Pech gehabt, dann wirst du halt nie Erleuchtung finden… ;)

  5. S

    Naja, 5 Sekunden,das ist schon eine Menge an Zeit. :mrgreen:

  6. c

    Ich kann niemanden zu seinem Glück zwingen…

    …aber irgendwie scheinen mir die Sekunden, die du in diesen Kommentar investiert hast, doch besser angelegt zu sein. :mrgreen:

  7. S

    Ich lasse mich einfach auf weitere Informationen der cimddologie überraschen. :mrgreen:

  8. c

    Dann hoffe ich, dass mir noch was Brauchbares einfällt, denn nach 5 Teilen gehen mir so langsam die guten Ideen aus… hat jemand Interesse, einen Gastbeitrag zu schreiben? :)

  9. S

    Gastbeitrag ??? Yipieeee…..nun,das würde erstmal Bedeuten,das man eine Idee braucht.

    Aufdeckung einer Weltverschwörung vll ?

    Da habe ich gerade leider auch keine Idee zu.

    Aber Gastbeiträge sind immer eine nette Sache,gibt es irgendwie viel zu selten.
    Doch sollte es auch nicht überhand nehmen.

  10. c

    Weltverschwörung? :psst: Die Cimddologie ist eine Weltverschwö— äh, ich hab nichts gesagt. :pfeif:

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