…should reach 0 € with the “Sin Calculator” (German only) and may cast the first stone:
Or (s)he’s, like me, an atheist – thank God¹ – and doesn’t care about the (of course not quite seriously) calculated sum like e.g. my 707,44 €. But I won’t be able to keep up with Conny, where I found this, anyway. 
Created with the newspaper generator from Onlinewahn.de (German) – main headlines and picture as well as newspaper name editable, the rest is theirs, added randomly (they also offer ID cards and coins).
Translation:
Run out of ideas?
Expert tip: DON’T KEEP YOUR HEAD BURIED IN THE SAND!
Newspaper name: Yawn
The other headlines: Nyu spallin rivorm — No power to drugs! Extraordinary tax on Smarties planned — World record in amok running! — New Pisa study: tree nursery leading — DJ Toilet Seat wins election — Pope condemns puffed rice
This is about a long funny song in German (where even more contributors are wanted) – I really can’t translate that into English, sorry…
Für ihr “wiedererwecktes” unendliches Lied braucht die Prinzzess noch mehr Dichter für Strophen der Art
Das Gürteltier, das Gürteltier bringt gleich nen ganzen Kasten Bier… fidirallala, fidirallala, fidirallalalalalaaaaa
Der Pinguin kommt in nem Frack, hat dennoch nur ein Ei im Sack… fidirallala, fidirallala, fidirallalalalalaaaaa
Der Weihnachtsmann, der Weihnachtsmann, der schleppt die Hochzeitstorte an… fidirallala, fidirallala, fidirallalalalalaaaaa
um auf mindestens 200 Strophen zu kommen – und auch wenn euch nichts einfällt, lesenswert ist es durchaus (typisches Understatement; eher: Vorsicht, Lachkrampfgefahr!), also schaut mal rein!
What can be done with the Linux shell can also be done with x86 Assembly language – maybe a little less safe 
but with direct access^^ (note that “BH” is German for “bra”):
enter 0xCafe,0xC
not [0xbadFace]
monitor
lahf
lock leave
sysenter
push bh
test ah,0xDD
pop bh
lock enter 0xBed,2
into
call si
rep mov ah,0h
aaa
leave
sysexit
times 9 mwait
call 0xDad
Even when reading several times (hint!), even with the help that pops up when hovering over the dashed underlined items – probably no-one except me will understand that. But, well, I don’t care….