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Extraterrestrial Greetings to Uri!
The following message was received by my hyper-highly sensitive cimddologically enhanced sensors on twisted routes through as yet unresearched space-time loops – hence I could not determine its exact origin in space and time yet.
To: Uri Geller and his soul mates
From: Your friends from the planet ...1
Subject: Heeelloooo!
Dearest Friends,
We were really really excited about your message, since we really couldn’t imagine that there were still sooo many wacked out dreamers that believe in us. That’s totally cool! It causes huge POSITIVE VIBRATIONS!
Specially for you, our greatest fans, we immediately set out holistically to fly to you. Unfortunately, due to subtle space-time turbulences in hyperspace, we can’t tell exactly when we will arrive, but with the support of the GREAT ORIGINAL GODDESS we will surely make it before the next after the next end of your world.
A ginormous load of UNIVERSAL ENERGY is waiting right for you... but, well, we have to talk a bit first, you see?
Dearest Uri,
please stop bending spoons all the time, that also bends space-time in the whole multiverse! We don’t like that that much, you know? Even simple stellarnet mails like this can be lost in time, and not even the MASTERS of the Universal Hierarchy can help then, and this makes them all sad.
Dearest Nina,
do you know that your styling is the latest fashion here on our planet now?!? Oh, and it was megagreat how you scared away that “sensible scientist” (pah!) – toootally celestial!2 Can you also give us some of your enormous LIGHT ENERGY? The colleagues from your last meeting were enthused about its mind-expanding effect!
Dearest Erich,
great how you made the journey to your own TRUTH and still can feed on it after so many years! But awww, it’s a pity that all your UFO evidence are mean counterfeits from the DEVIL. :( Pray to the LADY that She helps you find the right way again, then the ANGELS will bring you the *real* evidence that you are longing for so much.
Dearest Vincent,
oh come on, set the ravens free. It’s bad for the karma to use the creatures of Mother Nature, the All-Power, the GODDESS for one’s own purposes – and besides, all other ravens have to work overtime to guide all those souls to the KINGDOM OF THE DEAD. So please, set them free if you love them, will youuuu?
Okily-dokily, don’t be upset, hm? Hope to see you all soon!
Spiritual greetings with lots of violet love,
Your extraterrestrial friends
As Wunschliste.de reports (German), among others, ProSieben plans a show on November 15 called (translated) “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens: The incredible TV experiment”, in which he wants to send messages with a radio telescope. Talk guests in the studio: “The Next Uri Geller” winner and raven daddy Vincent Raven, the ancient astronauts dreamer Erich von Däniken and “singer” and mysticism eccentric Nina Hagen.
See also:
» Proof and faith issues and the strange thoughts of Uri Geller;
» TV show preview.
Healing with barcodes
Healing with barcodes – what an exceptionally stupid search query, I thought when I found it in my logs. But I forgot: Nothing is stupid enough to not have been used by mystic dreamers1 and imparted to like-minded people. As is the case here, for you quickly find a book on Amazon (Germany) titled “Neue Homöopathie nach Körbler 3: “Heilen mit Strichcodes”, 8. Körbler-Tagung 2006″ = “New Homeopathy according to Körbler 3: “Healing with Barcodes”, 8th Körbler conference 2006″. (Seems this stuff is mostly unknown outside of the German-speaking countries.)
Quite funny, an electrician(!) in the 1980s calls his imagination of, yes, circuits in the energy current in the human body “New Homeopathy”, and what does it have in common with classic homeopathy? Exclusively the fact that “the therapist and the patient/customer must believe in the method in order to achieve a possible placebo effect” (translated quote from German EsoWatch). I’m wondering if any homeopath ever sued against that name…
So we got barcodes and symbols instead of globules, dowsing rods instead of talks, scientifically non-tenable “energies” instead of preparations dilluted to complete lack of active ingredients. Well, each mystic to his own…
A Bavarian “health oasis farm” which offers, besides common wellness things, numerous mysticism treatments and seminars, happens to advertise in a current regional weekly magazine (disqualifying its “wellness & health” section with a homeopathy article) also a weekend seminar about this pretended “information medicine” for only 250€, apparently without hotel room and meals.2
Matching (and suggested by Amazon), there’s the book “Medizin zum Aufmalen – Heilen durch Informationsübertragung und Neue Homöopathie / Praxiserfahrungen mit den Körbler’schen Zeichen” = “Paint-on medicine – Healing by information transfer and New Homeopathy / Practical experiences with Körbler’s symbols” by Petra Neumayer and Roswitha Stark. From the press comments (all quotes are my translations), Prisma Dec. 2006/Jan. 2007:
What does ‘Ötzi’ the Iceman have to do with the new understanding of healing?
That the “New Homeopaths” used him to promote their stuff; apparently they managed to bend their “knowledge” to match his tattoos.
Ötzi had utilized the principles of energy medicine instead of today’s machine medicine.
Firstly, what should a man who lived 5300 years ago have known about the modern machine medicine, and secondly, how should his mummy be able to refute that allegation about “energy medicine” anyway?
Press comment (from wherever) by Layena Bassols Rheinfelder, August 2006, who is a book author and provider of services in this area herself with something she’s calling “PraNeoHom”:
This book gives the beginner a way to start, to taste, maybe even to open up into engaging in unlimited possibilities.
Unlimited possibilities of self-delusion and/or fooling his fellow men and/or raking in money, one is tempted to add…
Short description:
For all times, Native American peoples have used signs and symbols to increase strength and courage. Also, tattooed lines have been found on wounded body parts of the famous iceman “Ötzi”, and the scanners of supermarket cash registers recognize products by their barcodes… Symbols, simple lines and signs have been used from time immemorial in numerous cultures to transmit information and activate self-healing capacities. […]
Hey, the barcodes are healing cash registers! Great, didn’t know that! Now that should really be the argument against RFID labels!
Of course this must be “proven” with pseudoscience – and conveniently Amazon also automatically refers to “Das Kraftfeld der Symbole: Logos. Schriftzüge. Runen. Pyramiden. Kultische Zeichen. Kosmische Hieroglyphen u. v. m. radiästhetisch untersucht” = “The Force Field of Symbols: Logos, writings, runes, pyramids, cultic symbols, cosmic hieroglyphs and many more examined radiesthetically” by Hartwig Fritze.
By the way, it would be a fallacy to conclude that the longer the book titles, the crazier the statements inside – because Amazon also lists Balder’s and Dreksler’s book with subtitle, even having to abbreviate “WUNSCH-BULLSHIT IM UNIVERSUM. Eine Kritik der Wunsch-Bestellungen im Universum von Rhonda Byrne, Pierre Franckh, Bärbel Mohr, Esther Hicks und Kurt Tepperwein – auf dem schmalen Grat zwischen Nicht-mehr-Satire und Noch-nicht-Wissenschaft balancierend” – an entertaining book criticizing that “The Secret”-type wishing bullshit.
Amazon.de kindly provides the introduction of “The Force Field of Symbols” – it starts by using a mythological story collection, in this case the Genesis (“In the beginning… God said”, etc.), and the banality that an architect has to have an idea of a house before he builds it as a basis to “explain” via a nice non sequitur that thoughts also have “vibrations/oscillations” and “force fields” and that these are transfered into writings and symbols.
And the mystics said: Let there be nonsense. And it was so.
And the mystics saw that it was good,
good to deceive themselves and other gullible ones.
And there was evening, and there was morning: the next bosh.
And since this book is about radiesthesia, these oscillations and fields can of course be sensed with dowsing rods and pendulums. But why stick with one bizarre fallacy? The reader needs to see already in the introduction what he can expect in the book!
Now if matter is oscillating, i.e. transmits electromagnetic waves, which can be measured with a dowsing rod, then it’s logical that thoughts, too, which of course are the foundation of all matter in the shape of spiritual concepts, are nothing but electromagnetic oscillations.
Now if you think our modern measuring devices should be able to detect that, you are presented with this convenient evasive addendum which comes as no surprise at all:
However, these oscillations are in a frequency range for which there are no sufficiently sensitive measuring devices available today. But instead, human beings, being the highly sensitive “universal sensor”, are able to communicate with these force fields, in which dowsing rod and pendulum assist the radiesthetic as suitable tools.
Now I don’t know whether that frequency range is specified in the rest of the book, but the assumption that this is not the case is certainly not that far-fetched. (How do they know it’s electromagnetic anyway?)
The tools mentioned are certainly suitable – suitable to make the user’s wishful thinking visible, and nothing more, though.
[…] The mental abilities of radiesthetics make it possible to enter the upper limits that are as yet unreachable for purely physical measuring methods.
For physical measuring methods are unable to fantasize about such things, you still need people to do that.
When working in the mental area, however, the danger of divining mistakes due to wishful thinking as well as physical and psychical influences is big.
That’s readiliy apparent. Already given the measuring method that’s solely based on wishful thinking and ideomotorically induced muscular pulses caused by the conscious or unconscious imagination of a movement, also known as Carpenter effect. (Cf. links below.) Respectable tests with dowsers have never shown significant results beyond mere chance.
Thus dowsing rods and pendulums are anything but scientifically tenable measuring methods, of course independent from whether you believe the statements about the non-existence of physical measurment methods or not.
To keep the error rate as low as possible, the achieved results were checked by other radiesthetics who knew the task but not the results. So only such results are presented here that have passed the blind tests.
Now if these were real (double-)blind trials: respect! But somehow I think that the radiesthetics did actually see the symbols and writings – and, not only thanks to their mystic experience, it is not unlikely that they assess the same shapes with similar results. E.g. hardly anyone probably called wild zigzag patterns highly harmonic, whereas “flowing” might have been found in the description for wave lines more often than if they had just tossed a coin…
So what do we learn from that: Watch your search query logs, lest you miss unscientific balderdash.
Links:
Photos (originals without barcode/arrows): Nathalie P – Fotolia.com; Elena Vdovina – Fotolia.com; lavotini / flickr (CC-by-nc licence)
All quotes are my translation from the German originals.
(K)ein Horoskop für den LHC
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Search queries – LHC edition
Welcome to the latest edition of replying to search queries – a special edition about yesterday’s launch of the LHC.
For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.
LHC function
Check the Wikipedia link above or the link tips at the end, you should find enough information and further links there.
lhc conspiracy theories
Don’t need them, there’s already much nonsense published and searched without them, see the next queries…
lhc end of the world
No. No matter how hard you might wish for it. On the other hand, given these hundreds of comments that piled up at the Astrodicticum Simplex (German) – the large number only caused by unnecessarily scared people, scared by the panic mongers among the media, who’d rather post the same questions over and over again and mostly refuse to read the article itself and/or think a little for themselves – that idea might actually be not that bad at all.
Nostradamus particle accelerator
Get real, Nostradamus, living in the 16th century, couldn’t know what that is. A lot of things can be (and unfortunately is being) interpreted into his gibberish, of course, but, first off, it’s sensible to assume such predictions of the future are impossible anyway – until it can be proven otherwise, but that never worked yet –, and secndly, such interpretations surprisingly only fit well in hindsight…
LHC what energies
Alright, a serious question in between: Each colliding proton has an energy of 7⋅1012 eV (7 TeV), which means the total collision energy is 14 TeV – compared to the 1020 eV during collisions of natural cosmic rays just a little fart. Written out:
14,000,000,000,000 LHC 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 nature
However, these are just 2.24⋅10–6 Joule (2.24 µJ) in the LHC. Clapping your hands probably releases more energy, just not in such a small space. (The energy needed to power the entire LHC is of course much higher – about 120 MW, estimated 800,000 MWh for 2009 –, since the colliding hadrons have to be accelerated and kept on their circular path in extremely cooled tubes, and this cooling costs a lot too.)
So why all that fear if the LHC experiments are just a weak and small copy – just under controlled conditions with collisions at known places with huge detectors built around them – of what is happening for billions of years everywhere in space, including that li’l solar system of ours?
lhc jesus christ
No, he certainly said nothing about the LHC, he even lived way before Nostradamus. But he’d probably say something like this:
(1) If someone collides one of your hadrons, throw to him the other also. (2) Those however who take great pains replying to all of your questions, honor them by actually reading what they are writing (3) and have written before, (4) for the irrational insistence on your preconceived opiníon long after its falsification is (5) not worthy of human intelligence.
anthroposophy lhc
The combinations these people come up with – this religious-occult mysticism system really got no place here. Or do you want to take a few Higgs particles – probably no scientists will like the lurid, absurd designation “god particle” – and mix them into the anthroposopers’ homeopathic “medicine”?
Hmm… now how would that be if all this anthroposophy stuff including the advert for a medicine against cold that can currently be found on the schedule booklet of some(?) trains of the Deutsche Bahn1 disappeared in a black hole?
Now that would be something, an “intelligent” black hole that only swallowed that nonsense produced by those panic-mongering, conspiracy-theorizing, mystic dumbers of the masses!
(Yeah, just dreaming…)
Link tip:
- LHC info pages at the CERN, including a 60-page PDF brochure with lots of information and FAQs.
LHC photy by poluz (flickr)
- found in EC 194 and 195 [↩]