“Ancient Knowledge of Healing and Wisdom”

Halloween witch That (in German) is the subtitle of a German “Witch Calendar” for 2009 (publisher: Moewig-Verlag) from a certain Anthea (not shown here on the right) that I recently bought in order to have some material… Don’t worry, I won’t inundate you in 2009 every day with that (wouldn’t work anyway since Friday to Sunday have to share a single sheet)1 – I rather thought of a “Best Of” (or rather “Worst Of”) every 1-3 weeks.

For every day (or, as mentioned, for every weekend that seems to contain the Friday, too, for witches2) there is a quote or proverb and three sections:

  1. “What’s in the stars?” gives the common short horoscope platitudes, some of which rephrased for witches, and sometimes notes like the name of Thursday originating from the Germanic god Thor/Donar. The reason for putting that in this section eludes me, though. (Except for the need of putting something there, of course.)
  2. “From my witch pharmacy” covers the wide array from little household remedies to food recommendations to household tips that often make you wonder how they are supposed to be related to witches – but, well, witches have to eat, drink and keep house, too…
  3. “The witch year” sometimes tells something about the day, about “heathen” holidays, sometimes about the month (“August is named after […] Augustus”) or completely generic stuff (if nothing else could be found, I guess) and sometimes just dates of birth or death of arbitrary people somewhat relatet to mystic things – parapsychologists, occultists, stigmatized people, philosophers burnt at the stake, etc.

Well, they had to fill the approximately 250 sheets somehow… always the same drawings (a horoscope scribbling, a cauldron being stirred, and a witch on a broom; first on the left, then on the right) use up some additional space, too. “Witchcraft is cult!”, as the back side says, so there will probably be enough buyers for this – rather cheaply produced, I think – calendar (it was worth the 5€ to me all the same), and not just those that want to poke fun at it or criticize such “trivialities”…

(Alternatively, by the way, the same publisher also offers moon, moon-astro, angel, guardian angel and more calendars, as well as sudoku or cooking calendars.)

Example for the “witch pharmacy”:

Put scratching pullovers and sweaters briefly in the freezer. After that, wearing them is much more comfortable!

What ancient knowledge! About freezers!! That can only come from a witch’s pharmacy!

Well then,

Today, think dearly of those people from whom you have learned something essential for your life.

(From the “witch year” section for 15 Sep. Why 15 Sep? Well, who knows…)

  1. and it would be legally problematic, of course []
  2. I should change my job… []

1 Trackback

  1. t

    Ich habe mich für 2009 dazu entschieden vom “Katzenkalender” (Standard) zu einem Kalender mit schicken schwarz-weiß Akt (Männer natürlich) zu wechseln. So einen Hexenkalender hatte ich auch mal. Best of gab es, gepaart mit Recherchen auf dafür einschlägigen Seiten, als 1 Jahres Serie “Mystik im …” – monatsweise. Kam beim Leser nicht so gut an – jedenfalls kommentarfrei und auch ohne anderes Feedback. Ich werd trotzdem vorbeischauen und mich mal bei dir durchlesen. Vielleicht lerne ich noch etwas dazu.

  2. jL

    Bedeutet der Hinweis auf den 15.09, dass wir es hier mit einem 16-Monatskalener zu tun haben und wir können uns schon bald auf das erste Best Of freuen?

    Oder hast du den vom nächsten Jahr rausgegriffen und schürst schon knapp vier Monate vor dem Beginn die Hoffnungen?!?

  3. c

    @tshalina: Nun ja, anstatt die Mystik zusammenzufassen, such ich (vgl. Kostproben oben) die lustige bzw. lächerliche Seite daran. :mrgreen: Wie die Resonanz sein wird, werden wir ja sehen…

    @Julia: Sorry, es geht in der Tat nur ums Jahr 2009; ich hatte mir aufs Geratewohl einige Tage rausgegriffen. Aber dafür, dass der Kalender mindestens seit Juni (wie üblich :roll: ) beim Buchhändler lag, bin ich doch recht spät dran, oder? ;)

  4. t

    Naja, einige Dinge sind doch mal ganz interessant, auch ohne lustig zu sein… :)

  5. c

    Naja, ’n paar Haushaltstips vielleicht schon… :)

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