“Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens” – Report, opinion…

…criticism, grumbling, call it what you want. At any rate, here I’m writing about today’s show “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens – Das unglaubliche Live-Experiment” (“The incredible live experiment”) on ProSieben (Germany).

You can even have your own message sent into space – but if you’re hoping for a real reply, you’re hoping in vain, the distances are just too long, and if there actually are intelligent beings “out there”, they’d have to understand the messages in the first place. No matter how pretentious the chief spoon fiddler’s talk is (my translation):

“Anything can happen”, Uri Geller says. He, too, has a personal message for the aliens: “We open our hearts and out thoughts for you. We strongly believe that you are somewhere out there. Please show yourselves in the night of November 15. The people will look out their windows and wait for your signal.”

Be careful, Uri, when the people look out the windows, they miss the commercials, and ProSieben won’t like that!

Guests

• Mysticism eccentric Nina Hagen – present despite her recent virus illnes.
• Ancient astronaut dreamer Erich von Däniken.
• “The Next Uri Geller” (Germany) winner Vincent Raven.
• “A man and a woman who, according to their own statement, first met in a spaceship. Today they are a couple and will be asked about their experiences with aliens during the show under hypnosis.” Oh dear.
• By telephone from the USA: Edgar Mitchell – Apollo 14 astronaut and ufo believer. Note that the former is no basis of a higher credibility of the latter.
• Host will be the same as for “The Next Uri Geller”: Stefan Gödde.

Beginning

What did ali comment at Florian’s live blogging (German) who’d also have liked to read along (translated):

But I’m already appointed for a fondue. Lots of cheese, too, but better.

Well then bon appetit – which I also wish my readers with this nice mess. After commercials with aliens in them in talk talk talk for accomodation, they’re starting overly punctual with Gödde’s and Geller’s prerecorded introduction and the Ukrainian radiotelescope, Geller promises that some of us will receive a reply, and the raven guy will take care of the soul contact – but somehow I’m missing the warning message “Don’t try this at home!” from the magic show…

A pale head with alien face tattoo on its back was briefly seen, then Gödde alredy starts with a lie by saying there will be messages sent into space for the first time – more respectable people have done so already via radio and space probes as well as more or less intentional all radio and TV stations for a long time.

But first a little film as introduction with some “c-lebrities” and Geller himself saying a few sentences. Geller says we’d deserve a true answer. From him? Impossible. Impossible in a different sense, too, the amount of applause he gets when entering the stage and reporting about his large ball of light as a child. The biggest experiment of his life is what is supposed to happen tonight – I rather think that was the test whether his cheap spoon trick would bring him success back then – and us viewers are to get pen and paper ready.

Switch to the Deep Space Center in Evpatoria/Ukraine, brief introduction of the radiotelescope – no money left for 16:9 in the recording, apparently, the presenter colleague Daniel Aminati looked quite fat. Direction of the ‘scope will be the star Hip 4872, 310 trillion kilometers away from us (32.8 lightyears, in the area of the Cassiopeia constellation). And the speed of light is “absolute madness” for him.

Ufo films

Back to the studio and a faked ufo video – which they admit in order to introduce an “expert”, Siegfried Trebuch, who briefly explains it, then shows three more for which he’s got no criticism left but regards as real ufos – well, remember that ufo is for unknown/unidentified flying object, that don’t have to be extraterrestrials. And videos can be better manipulated or shot than the first one. But that’s apparently nothing that this spiritualism mystic and ufo disciple, as his website (German) “suggests”, is really good at. “Experte”, yeah sure.

Audience experiment

Uri now threatens to sharpen our senses today so that we can receive a message from the aliens – and we need only pen and paper. Watch out, you can cut yourself on paper, too, and sting yourself with a pen, so don’t overdo the sharpening thing!

A slightly pulsing orange disc on the screen, concentrate, paper on your lap, slightly turn away from the TV but keep the disc focused, “concentrate energy on alien intelligence”, love, hope, bla bla, relax, the alien intelligence establishes contact, just move the hand and let it draw, controlled by instinct – now look at the drawing: “Which message did you receive from the aliens?”

Of course you’re supposed to call in, Verena “eye candy as always” Wriedt in the phone studio, also get outside and look around, also watch your pets – hey, another plea to miss the commercials??

Roswell and Nina Hagen

And another short film, this time from Roswell, and Verena was also there. She’s not that crazy as Nina Hagen, but this is still far from a respectable documentary. I refer you to the skeptical links at the end… Nina is also briefly visible, somehow she looks like Michael Jackson, just older and more ugly (if that’s possible at all).

Speaking of Nina: Now she enters the stage. Brings prezzies: the cabel a Roswell guy says he’s used to fight off aliens as a child, for Uri’s shrine. By the way, Nina, your virus illness was probably caused by the bad karma you loaded upon yourself by driving Joachim Bublath out of that show last year.

Viewer reaction and the messages

A first MMS video by Susanne from Passau – four lights at a black sky, yawn; and the gal is also live on the phone. So it worked out well for her to get on TV, even though just acoustically. She was out to smoke – apparently Uri’s “quit smoking” campaing from one of the “The Next Uri Geller” shows failed here.

Nina tells a little more about that cable boy, then an excerpt from her interview with him where he also demonstrates the electric-wire-in-hands trick.

On to Johanna Klum and some mails/photos that viewers want to have sent into space: A dog named Anton with aluminum foil antennae; “Will Schalke become champion?” (No, never!); when will the aliens come, will they help, etc. “Are Freddie Mercury, Kurt Cobain or Elvis Presley with you? Send them greetings from us!”

And on to the Ukraine (or wherever they actually shoot this) to Daniel, Uri gives the “Go” to send the messages – technically with the radiotelescope and “we all together” telepathically. Everybody get up (no, I’ll remain seated with my laptop), hold hands. Countdown from 10, everybody shout it out, but instead of 0 getting back to 3, but in Hebrew: “achat, shtaim, shalosh” – Aaaaargh!

And an unfittingly animated screen shows, with sirens howling in the background, the real(?) transmission from the Ukraine.

Quickly a photo with lights in the sky – and a caller for the orange-dot-drawing-experiment; his girlfriend drew a pigeon, he a half cross, and then the fuse blew. Wondering if in reality or in their heads. But as it’s common for large numbers – millions of viewers –, if there were nobody with a rare event happening, now that were the real miracle.

Heino Falcke, astrophysicist, gets to speak, and with him some actual information about space – not being allowed to contradict that ufo madness, of course. And of course the first direct exoplanet photo published a few days ago is also shown.

A little film about radiotelescopes, the “Northern Cross Observatory” in Italy and the Seti project, who stooped to appearing in this show. And we hear the noise that these devices receive. Wouldn’t be a bad replacement for a show like this… And Nina’s blethering something odd.

Erich von Däniken and the Skull

Briefly that which he dares to call his “theories” is introduced in a film before he also takes a seat on the sofa. Some people maybe should do without dying their hair, at any rate that dark color doesn’t suit him somehow. First of course they mention that Maya calendar, then Nina says she’s a human being (what??) and as such already inside eternity, or something like that, in yourr arrms and yourr hearrts, amen.

Erich prepares his excuse for 2012 regarding the Maya calendar date (the calculations aren’t sure), and “explains” his alien gods return by many religions having return myths. So it also was predetermined that I got a blog, since there are many other blogs, too. At least Erich thinks that the world won’t end in 2012 and the Maya calendar will simply start over.

I used the Indiana Jones clip for the next post update… and a crystal researcher named André Siegel dreams something about the crystal skull as blueprint for creation of mankind. And one of the skulls is in the studio which Uri presents to the others right away to touch it, Nina rubs her hands. And he wants to share the breathtaking energy – that of the crystal skull, that is, not that of his own weird thoughts – so get up, over to the TV! Feel the energy! Mystic power and such, “feel how real it is” – erm, mystic ≠ real. Cystal on spaceflights? Certainly not in this shape, but the main point is, they mentioned something that sounds great and respectable.

Kilometer gauge: the signal from the Ukraine have travelled 481 million km already, animation of the solar system added – they probably want to show some half-way real images too. Then Raven and Azael, the ufo couple, the phone poll “Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?” and the commercials are announced.

21:29: First commercial break. A miracle happened: More than one hour without commercials on ProSieben! Geller’s powers must be enormous!

Audience and disturbed Ukraine

Let me quickly reply to a search request in the mean time: uri geller ufos and alien nina hagen getting on nerves – right! But Uri, too. Just Erich a little less, at least he’s not speaking in such strange ways. (And don’t you say anything about the Swiss-German accent!)

We continue with an odd video in green and a few jumping blurred pixels – since May on Youtube –, then a drawing, better: scrawl. Said to be mostly heats. Oooooh. Now than could neeeeever happen without extraterrestrial influence when you’re scribbling around slowly. Uri says how peaceful the aliens were, Erich shakes his head, aliens were not just helpful teachers, but also punishers; Nina says aliens were called little devils in mediaeval times.

Interruption from the Ukraine, allegedly something strange happened: Another signal is interrupting. Well, at least the creators of the show don’t do without additional stagings, lest it gets even more boring. By the way, I’m just wondering how long they’ll overrun…

Astronaut, telephone!

A little film about Nasa and Mr Mitchell, the astronaut who’s also a Roswell ufo fanatic – now live from Lake Worth, Florida, Uri asks some great questions: Do you believe in ufos, why are you, as a scientist, so strongly convinced? Well, he’s from that area, and just because the authorities don’t tell everybody (especially in Cold War), that of cooouurse proves ufos.

Respectable scientists and overwhelming evidence? That’s what he’s wishing for. Overwhelming reasons against alien visits, I’d rather say. Johanna, at least, says she’s somewhat skeptical, the astronaut profession is no argument, he too could be some cards short of a full deck. Bravo! If she can stand against the contradictions from all the present ufologists? Erich thinks Mitchell’s a thoroughly honest man – well, alright, he’s gonna believe in it himself, so not a liar from his own perspective.

Was it lake worth it?1

Yet more videos, one more animation

A shaky video from Turkey (from a guard during Uri’s shooting there) from something bent, without surroundings, i.e. without the possibility to estimate its size, without anything that could make it solid. Trebuch wants to check it more closely, well, go ahead, Mr “expert”.

And the scientists can again stoop himself to show a solar system animation and a possible received signal; let’s turn to Verena in red and a viewer video: flashlight to a bush in the night, someone playing with an “alien face”, then everything’s shaking ’cause the people got scared. And a jerky surveillance camera recording which, while showing more pixels than the earlier video, is neither sharper nor more convincing.

A scared called then reports about a U-shaped formation of some lights before the window. Well, reflections, whatever; he got a cramp from the crystal skull – well, the people believe what they want to believe. And Uri admits he’s got no clue how quartz watches work, since he’s using them to explain the “real energies” of the skull. Well, he’s more proficient with mechanical watches, of course, which start running again by shaking, erm, of course by his mental energies.

Daniel is weirded out in the Ukraine, no matter if the disturbing signal is coming from a metorite, a satellite or whatever. At least he wants to “talk the director into” sending more messages. Alright, who paid the script author? Nobody, I hope…

22:03: And again Vincent, the couple, the phone poll and the commercials are announced…

And we continue, now the signals have passed Saturn’s orbit – the received signal from before also got stronger, but doesn’t come from aliens but from earth – awwww, what a pity. But “anything can happen” with Geller… The scientists, by the way, does not believe in alien visitis – that is, he says that’s not a matter of belief; he’s also a religious person going to church on Sundays. Not a big difference.

My namesake

Vincent Raven, whose real name is Andreas Plörer, arrives, tells a little about his and the new amulet he created, intedned to “lead people back to the source”; to be seen on it: pentagram, raven head, heart, candle, tree, book and key of life, on the back the trinity of his ravens’ names and a few Latin angel calls. By the way, the second season of “The Next Uri Geller” in Germany is scheduled to start on 13 Jan 2009.

Vinnie’s experiment: He tells “no story, but the truth”, denies evolution for ravens, wants to receive a frew images and maybe sounds through Azael. Well, he babbles raspingly to the raven, the raven caws back a few times. Success!

Oh, they continue after all: He pretends he’s slowly receiving something, more specifically a sound, an image, souls in other worlds who never heard about human beings. Those lucky guys!

For Uri a reason that god created everyone, and Nina utters the sentence of the evening: “Well, I don’t think anything!” Man should “be careful not to be wrapped around the finger”! How right she is. She’ll just forget to grab her own nose here…

More viewers

Another scribbled almost-double-heart. And a calling woman who had Vincent’s raven cawing imagine her that a ring from a deceased person she’s wearing on a chain got hot; Vincent himself and is surprised and apparently didn’t prepare an answer for such a case…

“Yes we can!” No, luckily Barack Obama didn’t stoop to appearing here, it was Daniel who said that; they can send more messages.

Mark Harris

(Almost) full-body tattoed including alien face on the back of his head and abduction on the back, rightfully subtitled “alien freak”, can be touched by Nina and Johanna – well, I wouldn’t mind the latter… Nina also shows her strangely tattoed shoulder – well, that’s not the ugliest part of her.

The abducted couple

Daniela and Sascha, two of the usual “abdutees”, with undetectable “biological implants”, telepathic alien communication etc., introduced in a film and then on the sofa which is slowly running out of space. (I just quickly refer you to the skeptic links below.) Daniela accepts when skeptics say the two are crazy; Sascha doesn’t see himself as “chosen”. And they are not enough, a Swiss woman appears in another film. Whether it’s blue and diffusely lit or any other way, don’t seem to be unusual dreams or hallucinations she’s having. And she thinks boogers (that she keeps) are microchip implants.

Erich used to think this is utter crap originally, but got persuaded by a book from a certain Mack(?). And you’re not chosen, he compares it to picking an ant from an anthill who then can refer to “extra-ant-ial intelligence”. I think there’s more intelligence in an anthill than sitting on that couch now (at least if Johanna stands up for a moment, maybe).

22:43: A hypnotist for the couple is introduced – as is the next commercial break.

Hypnosis

A “unusual blocking” in Daniela, hence Sascha’s lying on the easychair. Thehypnotist speaks slowly. I… would… also… get… tired… if I didn’t have to write this. At least my armchair is similarly comfortable. And even adjustable. (Was expensive enough.)

Sascha is to report from the past. Corridor on a spaceship, a small figure, about 1.40m tall, almond-shaped black eyes, grey-blue dress, just our usual alien type. (Guys, turn down that droning background sound, almost can’t hear what he says!) Sees his now fiancée for the first time – would a really hypnotized person who sees himself in that time really call her that?

Why he? Doesn’t know; many people were taken. Peaceful intentions? Doesn’t know. Danger or something? Didn’t really get it, and I’m to lazy to rewind now. Uri says a hypnotized person can’t lie, but that doesn’t mean enything, he’s probably believing it himself anyway.

“Well”, what does Nina say? She’s wondering why there was no fight, doesn’t understand it. Stasis, Sascha says. Shouldn’t she know that, unable to move during her own “encounter” in 1981?

Ukraine and Verena on the stage

Time for the second load of messages, directly burned to CD so Daniel got something to pass along, and Uri gives the “Go” again. We’re overrunning already, so guys, hurry up with the countdown (like before, with added “We want contact!”) and the telepathic transmission!

“We want contact!” Where are the intelligent lifeforms, we got none here in the studio!

Daniel says goodbye, with that sirens howling in the background. Verena appears “in all her beauty” to present the poll result: 93% believe in extraterrestrial life, which surprises Uri. “Maybe the show got so much information across”, he says. In-for-ma-tion? Huh? What’s that?

Of course the ProSieben guys ignored the difference between “there’s life somewhere in space” and “aliens have visited us” in the first place.

The end (phew!)

The astrophysicist shows a nice space photo from where the spectral fingerprint of water is reveived, a prerequisite for life, according to Geller then there mustNina’s “pseudokumentary”

…as I’d like to call that thing, is nothing I’ll describe or comment on here, even though I’ll look at it in the background. Well, rather look away, I don’t want to see that old hag’s face too often.

Ratings

Surprising: Only 1.40 million viewers aged 3+, 4.8% Market share; 850,000 in the target audience aged 14-49, 7.3%.

ProSieben was only on no. 5 in Saturday’s average rating with 5.2%.

(Source: ProSieben-Teletext)

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Links

• My preliminary post about the Geller show.
• My preliminary post abozt Nina Hagen’s ufo “documentary” afterwards.
• The true reply from the aliens that I received in late September.
• “I believe we have been brought here from other planets” – Proof and faith issues and the strange thoughts of Uri Geller.
• Skeptic’s Dictionary: UFOs and extraterrestrials, alien abduction, Roswell, Uri Geller.

 

1. Sorry, this pun was necessary. [↩]