Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… Hey, Get Up and Go, and You Never Know!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

sprich deutsch with me
No, I speak English mit dir!

English German funny
Not always.

what,is,erotic,dey,driemer
Someone who isn’t able to use tha space bar because his hand is busy with its favorite occupation – which seems to have negative influence on one’s language capabilities. (Damn!)

how fuck mother-in-law
I think that’s quite similar to other women.

that good porn
That bad English.

they say skys da limit but im tryna leev da planet....
they say sky’s da limit but im trynna lee da planet....
If you can’t decide how to write your search request, I won’t decide what I reply on it.

You’ve fooled them, haven’t you Michael? But not me.
There’s no Michael here (except sometimes for commenting) – better tell him directly over at GreenSmilies.com.

if i see Jesus im gonna whip hios ass
Since the name Jesus is not that rare in some areas, you might be quite busy then…

God’s true nature darkness hate, greed, lust, and other goodies! aha! the mask comes off!!
The great insight you got at Christmas, eh?

fengshui for whom who dosnt have a baby boy
Feng shui is, regardless of whether you have a child or want one, bullshit.

Spiritual power of star cluster M13
That’s easy to calculate: You take the catalog number – in this case 13 – as exponent and the basic spiritual power of the cosmos as base. The result is: 0¹³ = 0.

Astrology & Global Scaling
…are both no real science.

parapsychology only humbug
You got it! Yeah!

moon 2008 looks
…like it did in 2007. And 2006. And will in 2009. And…

is sittn back watchn .....waitn ...... my time will come ..... and when it does its done .....game ova bitch
Fine, game over, that’s it for this post-holiday edition… erm, who’s interrupting?

not without panties
Alright, you’re right, no search request post without panties:

no panties learn
It’s quite simple: Just don’t put on any panties – not much to learn about that.

At last: Bye, and remember: I Am Your Friend and My Love For You Goes Deep

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… Welcome to the bridge, captain!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

dO YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME
Well, who are you? I know nothing about you, you didn’t even send a photo. (Even the dating scam spammers can do better.)

do you think Bruce springsteen would fancy me
Oh, suddenly I’m not good enough any more? Make up your mind!

kitty kitty can’t you see there is no reason
No reason for what? And why are you calling me kitty??

Now I know why, I (…) my love from you some days.”
You know why there’s a gap? So why don’t you fill it?

yOU’VE SEEN HOW BAD THINGS CAN GET,AND HOW QUICK THEY CAN GET THAT WAY. IF WE’RE TO SURVIVE,WE GOTTA WORK TOGETHER…SO WE’RE NOT GONNA ARGUE ANYMORE!!!
Alright, no more arguing. But behave!

its over,there’s nothing you can say to keep me here
Well, then get lost, don’t need folks like you around here.

“look at me! about 1 am…and i’m caught about to let a bird fly”
Oh, you’re still here? Can’t get away from me that easily, huh?

WELL ALL I GOT 2 SAY IS THAT I LOVE YOU I KNOW I PROBABLY ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS BUT IM GONNA KEEP SAYIN IT THERE IS NO LIES IN THESE WORDS NOT 1 BIT YOUR SMILE KEEPS ME ALIVE IS 1 MORE REASON 2 KEEP FIGHTING I WUD GIVE U MY SOUL 4 COMFORT EVEN IF IT LEAVES ME DARK N COLD && WEN U HOLD ME I CAN FEEL N HEAR UR HEART BEAT FAST AND I THINK TO MA SELF IVE FOUND THAT SUM1 AT LAST!!!
(Covering ears) Okay, nice to hear that, but don’t scream like that!

“listen to what she says…i know…i know why…i know why you do what you do…the difference of a single minute comes down to centuries”
Oh, then everything is clear. But tell her not to shout anymore.

inferiority complex signs
You’re googling for it.

In the air the questions hang, will we get to do something? who we gonna end up being? how we gonna end up feeling? whatcha gonna spend your Free Life on???
The meaning of life? Well, sometimes hard to find…

dominatrix fancies haed
Nice for Haed, whoever that may be.

www.two girls one clap.com
That’s not the name of that little movie and not who URLs in general are looking – you really never learn…

thong wearing feeling
I already said it before: Just try it!

all men need to try a thong
See, your friend already tried – and he likes it!

prediction 2009 astrology
My prediction: Astrology will publish a lot of nonsense in 2009 just like it did before.

lucky numbers generate zoidiac signs
No, it’s the astrologers who generate the zodiac signs.

Lord, Hang Another Star in Heaven
Think that’s of any use? Astrologers like to adapt their poppycock even to newly discovered planets, no matter if they lose their planetary status later. So rather let some brains rain from above.

That’s enough for this week, bye, and remember: We all grow up wanting to be stars, but end up as satellites that don’t call home.

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… oh oh one two come baby three four five!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

little patsch animal
Erm, what? No animals are beaten here!

girls fucking teddybear
Certainly not here – maybe ask the expert.

THANKS DOG PORN
Neither shouting nor an early thanks will help you, you won’t get that here. Maybe ask the police dog unit, they might be able to help you. Get into jail, that is.

erotic word starting with X
Xanthippe. Well, not for me, but if there’s one thing you learn on the internet (and especially these search requests), it’s that there’s no fetish that doesn’t exist.

wear thong one week
Ewww! You really should change your underwear a little more often!

the panties are slipping here
Oh, you want your panties/thong to get sticky over time. Well, why not rather buy the correct size for you that doesn’t slip down?

www.pantyes.men.men
You never learn what URLs look like, huh?

www.Ufo and eliens.de
Not much better either.

THE HIDDEN PHYSICS OF THE DOWSING ROD
The only physics hidden in dowsing is the ideomotor effect, “a psychological phenomenon wherein a subject makes motions unconsciously” (Wikipedia). But these are hidden so well that believers don’t want to hear about it…

spiritual healing phone number
Another inexact search for a phone number… you learned nothing since last week!

i feel abashed from all this praise
Praise? There was no praise for you here!

i’m gonna teach you with my Racer Lips
Erm, what are racer lips?

Look what you’ve done with your bloody rock music; you’ve put out the sun
Oh come on, that’s just the night, music isn’t to blame for that.

best name für healer
Worst idea für healing.

god told me lottozahlen
Reason tells me das bringt nichts.

lotto numbers for 13 Dec prognosis scorpio
You can’t just predict them that easily, you must take your scorpion tail and sting randomly into the lotto playing sheet.

vincent raven writes a book
Still better than him “singing” – as long as he doesn’t turn it into an audio book. Caw!

magi.. magi you.. would you lovely name now baby.. i used to be a shadow
Nah, don’t like that magician.

ho wand de say go marchin in
Another variant of “Oh when the saints…” – thanks, dear French googler!

Hey Sweetie, I MISS You & I Love You So So So So MUCH!
Well, then come here!

Alright, got other things to do now, bye, and remember: i never let the actions of another make or break me & i NEVER let a single person shake me because honestly dont give a SHIT who hates me as long as i have my close friends by my side.

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… do you hear me come on!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

which saint is responsible for computers?
Depending on your religious orientation, it’s either Saint Bill, Saint Steve or Saint Linus, of course.

telephone hypno mistress
Your mistress should order you not to call any expensive phone numbers anymore – as long as you’re an obedient slave, she won’t need any hypnosis.

airport phone number
There are at least as many as there are airports. If you can tell me how the weather in the valley is, I might help you further…

phone number of aliens
Nobody can help you there. Aliens don’t use phones, and not even Uri Geller can change anything about that.

shalosh uri is he crazy
You won’t get any contradiction from me here.

do lucky charms help
Certainly those who sell them – help in a financial way, at least.

lat it#s no
Ohn o. That’s beyond my power.

FENG SHUI COFFERED CEILING SOLUTION
That’s easy: Ignore that feng shui stuff. No matter which ceiling, that’s certainly the best solution.

NOW I WANT TO TALK WITH A GOOD GIRLS GIVE ME THERE PHONE NUMBERS
Your English is getting worse – and stop shouting. And why are you so obsessed with phone numbers anyway??

engel numerology
So we’re turning to a German-English mixture now? But this won’t work – regardless of the language.

“i am also confused” in german
That clearly shows.

German horoscopes in English
Why don’t you try original English horosopes first? Or those in Nahuatl, Swahili or Mongolian – no matter how good you speak those languages, you will be able to find just as much sensible content there.

lotto numbers crazy ideas for selection
Numerology, astrology, read tea leaves, prayers, whatever…

babie ahr nakd
Gezz thet happns.

my blog
No, this is my blog!

only 24 to da 25 just waiting to get my shit for xmas just cant wait to get my breakfast than open presant
You’re looking forward to receiving shit as christmas present?? How about an English school book instead?

the visitors is already 80 ? correct write english?
Ask your friend above, maybe he can help you if he gets his book.

wear thongs what’s great about it
Why don’t you just try for yourself?

nude grandpa browser
A browser for nude grandfathers? Guess the most important thing is that the XXX webcam chat works – the provider might help there; if in doubt, the IE should always work…

gramps sex under the bridge
No no, better stay inside where it’s warm at your computer with your webcam.

well-being
Is important. So we stop for today. Can’t you see, there’s a feeling that come over me?

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com