Even though this post only got a loose connection to my Cimddology series, it’s still a satire…
Unfortunately, the completion of our ung unserer Astro-Cimddology Secundoscope announced in May will be delayed a little (until about the next total solar eclipse in Germany), therefore we offer here your personal horoscope, generated according to the most latest knowledge – completely without costs, without registration, without obligations,
So just pick the appropriate options – yes, you’ve noticed correctly, we also have a sex option, you won’t find that in newspaper horoscopes!!
(Way too late “other” has been added to the options.)
(If you like mathematical riddles, you may try to find the rules for how which piece of text is selected… Hint: There are 6 horoscopes, 4 elements, 8 colors, 4 animals, 6 plants, 5+6 character traits, 9 recommendations (for existing days).)