Fancy – but for what?
Ein Brief von meiner Krankenversicherung, der neben der Ankündigung, mit welcher Beitragsrückerstattung ich rechnen könnte, wenn ich auch dieses Jahr keine Leistung in Anspruch nehme, noch ein allgemeiner Werbebrief lag, der sich auf die fünf Sinne bezieht und – natürlich – wie toll die Versicherung doch ist.
Auf der Vorderseite: ein Stück weicher, samtartiger Stoff im Bild eines Sofas (siehe Foto), irgendwie die Perspektive zerstörend – durchaus witzig und originell, etwas zum Fühlen. Nur was soll es im Endeffekt bringen?1 Etwas mehr Beachtung, ja, aber ich denke, es bringt kaum mehr Beachtung für den eigentlichen Inhalt. (Und was sagen die Altpapierverwerter dazu, wenn – wie ich vermute – viele Leute das Stück Stoff nicht separat entsorgen?)
“Sehen, hören, fühlen, riechen, schmecken”, “mit allen fünf Sinnen erleben”, heißt es im Brief – also gut, überprüfen wir das mal:
Sehen: klappt, ich seh den Brief.
Hören: Naja, man kann damit rascheln.
Fühlen: Ich fühle auch das Papier, nicht nur den Stoff – wobei das Stoffgefühl in einem Brief natürlich ungewöhnlich ist.
Riechen: Das Papier riecht ’n bisschen nach Papier und Druckfarbe.
Schmecken: Mmpf, daf Papier fmeckt nift fo gut.
Wir fehen awfo: man kann feine fünf Finne auf einen Brief anwenden, aber wotfu?
- Außer dass manche Empfänger vielleicht darüber bloggen.
[↩]
War Golem schuld? ;)
Natürlich war Golem.de nicht wirkllich schuld am Stromausfall bei Hetzner, aber es klang anfangs in ihrer Newsmeldung so:
Mittlerweile haben sie’s korrigiert in “Störung in der Stromversorgung…”. Somit war Golem höchstens schuldig, Hetzners Pressemeldung überhastet in eine Newsmeldung umzuschreiben. 
Only on Wednesdays
But there actually is some variety:
Spam clippings
A little collection of strange spam clippings that are not worthy of separate posts…
Mails
A typical lottery spam that was really nothing special (by the way: if they alledgedly picked one of hundreds of millions of mail addresses, why do they still use winning numbers?) – only the form of address is noteworthy:
Dear E-mail ID,
No, that’s too impersonal for me.
From one of the mails that combine a short and somewhat sexual sentence with added prose (to confuse spam filters) advertising something that you can’t clearly tell what it is:
Fiill your bed partner’s brain with the excitement and satisfaction
Somehow I thought that it’s not the bed partner’s brain that get filled, but rather other body regions…
A mail with the subject “PlaceAnd bowd his eminent top.”:
Sweet disaster with a worldOf. Lord put him tot let him. [Aside to BERTRAM] O for.
…and nothing more. An ad for dadaist art?
“Can I help you?”
(Translated from German) A “fortuneteller, miracle-healer, mystic” picks the commentators of the (German) “furtuneteller check” blog of all people to spam them with (in my case with a comment on the contact page and by mail) with above question. 
Failed spam comments
In the URL field: “hi!”
Comment text: “file_links\Mmedia\(D) FILES\xrumer\full5\Projects\links.txt,35,S]”
In the URL field: “FYOLeNkRChFIAHSJmKA”
Comment text: “mypetpharmacies.txt;10;15”
In the URL field: “link”
Comment text: “What i must send to you if you need this health?,”
In the name field: “name”
In the URL field: “link”
Comment text: “Good day!,”, “Hello!,”, “Hi webmaster!”
Bush’s bad English
In the name field: “Bush” – new job for an ex-president? — text (the lines with numbers were links to subdomains at a free hosting service):
sorry for my bad english
down Angeela6938
was Teera202
thing Aleberta869
that Jeneefeer5733
part Angeela714baby sweeeeet
Yeah, really can’t call that good English…
Almost an insult
In the name field: “WP Themes” — text:
I think your blog need a new wordpress template. Downalod it from […]. The site has nice and unique wordpress templates.
Coaching without success
Finally a manual comment (German, my translation) on the search request reply post that occasionally is found when people search for a certain fortuneteller (who I wrote about in German only), written by someone (whose name I removed here) who had searched for exactly her name:
Hello to everyone who desperately search for help and contact Esmeralda [the fortuneteller].
Unfortunately 70% of all people want to make their profit from the sorrow of others. I’ve been a success
& personality coach for 11 years and have helped many people to live happier and more successful. But one thing you can believe me, not even death is for free.Stop falling for such fraudsters and search for persons who can really help. Gladly I provide information about people who can help. Just have a look at my website (preferrably simply under [first name] [last name]) and inform yourself. And if I can help you I gladly will.
Have a good life.
[first name]
In the URL field he entered a URL conforming to the pattern www.[first name][last name].de – which doesn’t even exist! His real domain would be [last name].de only…
Photo (orig.): Justin Hall – Fotolia.com