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Lottery spam from the future

by cimddwc · 2008-07-07

It should be well-known that e-mail addresses can’t win lotteries – especially without actually participating in them – and such “win notifications” only are interested in address and bank data and possibly advance-fee fraud.

Also known should be that automatic translations can produce funny results.1

But that such mails come from the future – wow!

This one specimen arrived on July 7 at 17:11 (that’s 5:11 pm), but would be will sent on July 8 at 11:09 UTC in order to will informed have me on July 9 about the “drawing” from July 8 had. Or something to that extent. It’s so difficult with these tenses…

(The mail is also funny for its “German”, but there’s not much point in showing it here in the English part of my blog…)

especially if they need two steps, e.g. Russian → English → German [↩]

The best time for an ad campaign

by cimddwc · 2008-07-02

Let’s imaging the following, of course completely hypothetical scenario in the advertising department of a German bank:

It is early June. One employee says: “Ey, boss, the European football championships are beginning soon, many people want a new, large 16:9 TV, but not everybody can afford one right away – wouldn’t that be a good time to advertise our credit offers?”

The boss (looking up from the championship schedule he was studying intensely): “Hmmm… yes, might be good. Best would be a bulk mailing, nationwide. You take care of that, will you? I’m currently busy.”

“Yeah, sure, boss, I will! Oh, by the way, I’ll take 3 weeks holiday – championship, you understand? Is that okay?”

Boss (was already looking at the championship schedule again): “…huh? Yes, sure, alright.“

Fast-forward until early July, i.e. the present (and the reality), the Euro 2008 ended three days ago. What’s in the mailbox? A pull-out cardboard bulk mail saying “16:9 for our boys?” with two cheering German fans on the front, pull out left → “No”, right → “problem!” and a third fan. Back:

“Public viewing during the European championship now also at home – with your new wide flat TV and the […] credit. By the way: You receive up tp 18,750 PAYBACK points on top!”

(“Payback” is a data-collecting discount point system, and “public viewing” is actually the “officially made-up” term used in Germany for a public (outdoor) screening.)

Well, that’s perfect timing, isn’t it?

Without costs more than without…

by cimddwc · 2008-06-30

Mostly out of curiosity, I was just browsing through some notebook configurations at Dell (their German site, that is) and encountered these great options for a security solution which, however, somehow could be improved:

without or without

(1) First line: “without security/antivirus [included]”, without language mentioned, so probably English; second line: “without security/antivirus – German [plus 0.01€]” – So, missing security in German costs 1 cent, and those who don’t speak English have to pay! Or vice versa. Somewhat confusing.

(2) But don’t give up hope, a few lines below you get the same, “without security/antivirus – German [plus 0.00€]”, for ~~free!~~ just 0.00€.

Wirkungsloses und Placebos en masse?

by cimddwc · 2008-06-28

Sorry, but this post is not available in English

I’d prefer dating scam spam…

by cimddwc · 2008-06-25

100% safe …since there’s ususally a photo included, but you can’t have it all, another Anghela is hard to find. So this mail here (the image on the right was not included) is just a generic 419 scam – except that it’s not from Nigeria but South Africa (or at least claims to be) –, promising a multi-million sum for a pretended money transfer.

And, alas, the senders translated their English (which is maybe not completely perfect, and at any rate quite complicated for automatic translation) automatically into German, making it somewhat funny – in German, that is, so this is not really something funny for you English readers, sorry… Let me just mention that their statement about this business being “100% safe” turned into “100%-Safe”, i.e. a 100% safe/vault, hence my little image on the right.

Their English original (which they also included) isn’t really worth reading, but for the sake of completeness, I included it here:

Show the English scam text ▼

(The line breaks were a little off, I corrected them here.)

Engr. Lenka Dominick,
Pretoria
South Africa
Private Email: lenka01@pnetmail.co.za

FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION:

I am Engineer Lenka Dominick,a Native of Kwazulu Natal in South Africa Working with the South Africa Department of Mining & Energy.

First and foremost I apologize for using this medium to reach you for a transaction of this magnitude because It is true that a lot of people engaged in different types of internet fraud this has made it impossible for people to differentiate between genuine business proposal and dubious ones, but this is due to confidentiality and prompt Access reposed on this medium. Be informed that a member of the South Africa Export Promotion Council (SEPC) who was part of my government delegation to your country during a recent Trade Exhibition gave your enviable credentials/particulars to me while assuring me on your competence to handle a business transaction involving a large sum of money with absolute confidentiality.

Therefore I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all parties and while hoping you will keep it as top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

Within the Department of Mining & Energy where I work as a Director and with the cooperation of three other top officials, we have in our possession an overdue contract payment bills totaling Fourteen Million, four Hundred Thousand united states dollars(14,400,000.00).This money which we intend to process its transfer as a form of contract payment into a reliable company/individual account depending on your convenience.

Your assistance and co-operation is required due to the circumstances surrounding our work as government officials whereby the South Africa Civil Service Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate a foreign Bank account hence your importance in the whole transaction.

Presently, this amount ($14.4M) representing the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by a foreign contracting firm which we the officials over-invoiced deliberately is lying unclaimed in the government escrow bank account with Reserve Bank of South Africa. We hereby seek your assistance and co-operation that will enable us to process this sum of money to you as a form of contract payment.

We have the necessary authority to validate and forward approvals of outstanding contract claims to the government for final payment on approval through the Reserve Bank of South Africa (RSBA). All partners agreed while mandating me to propose that should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will be 30% of the 14.4 million,65% will be for us and 5% for any expenses incurred in the course of this project including telephone and fax bills.

The business itself is 100% safe on your part provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality. Also note that your area of specialization is not an hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction.

I have reposed my confidence in you while awaiting your prompt response through the private email address lenka@pnetmail.co.za to notify me of your capability to assist us in achieving success in this transaction.

Finally on your part, we will appreciate you treat this transaction as a very confidential one while we assure you of a 100% safe and full proof free transaction provided you follow our instructions totally.

I await your confirmation of my message while praying that this will be the beginning of a lifelong partnership between us.
Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.

Yours faithfully

Engr. Lenka Dominick

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