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The following message was received by my hyper-highly sensitive cimddologically enhanced sensors on twisted routes through as yet unresearched space-time loops – hence I could not determine its exact origin in space and time yet.
To: Uri Geller and his soul mates
From: Your friends from the planet ...1
Subject: Heeelloooo!
Dearest Friends,
We were really really excited about your message, since we really couldn’t imagine that there were still sooo many wacked out dreamers that believe in us. That’s totally cool! It causes huge POSITIVE VIBRATIONS!
Specially for you, our greatest fans, we immediately set out holistically to fly to you. Unfortunately, due to subtle space-time turbulences in hyperspace, we can’t tell exactly when we will arrive, but with the support of the GREAT ORIGINAL GODDESS we will surely make it before the next after the next end of your world.
A ginormous load of UNIVERSAL ENERGY is waiting right for you... but, well, we have to talk a bit first, you see?
Dearest Uri,
please stop bending spoons all the time, that also bends space-time in the whole multiverse! We don’t like that that much, you know? Even simple stellarnet mails like this can be lost in time, and not even the MASTERS of the Universal Hierarchy can help then, and this makes them all sad.
Dearest Nina,
do you know that your styling is the latest fashion here on our planet now?!? Oh, and it was megagreat how you scared away that “sensible scientist” (pah!) – toootally celestial!2 Can you also give us some of your enormous LIGHT ENERGY? The colleagues from your last meeting were enthused about its mind-expanding effect!
Dearest Erich,
great how you made the journey to your own TRUTH and still can feed on it after so many years! But awww, it’s a pity that all your UFO evidence are mean counterfeits from the DEVIL. :( Pray to the LADY that She helps you find the right way again, then the ANGELS will bring you the *real* evidence that you are longing for so much.
Dearest Vincent,
oh come on, set the ravens free. It’s bad for the karma to use the creatures of Mother Nature, the All-Power, the GODDESS for one’s own purposes – and besides, all other ravens have to work overtime to guide all those souls to the KINGDOM OF THE DEAD. So please, set them free if you love them, will youuuu?
Okily-dokily, don’t be upset, hm? Hope to see you all soon!
Spiritual greetings with lots of violet love,
Your extraterrestrial friends
As Wunschliste.de reports (German), among others, ProSieben plans a show on November 15 called (translated) “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens: The incredible TV experiment”, in which he wants to send messages with a radio telescope. Talk guests in the studio: “The Next Uri Geller” winner and raven daddy Vincent Raven, the ancient astronauts dreamer Erich von Däniken and “singer” and mysticism eccentric Nina Hagen. 
See also:
» Proof and faith issues and the strange thoughts of Uri Geller;
» TV show preview.
Just a quick note that I’ve extended my category Religion (see the cloud in the sidebar on the right) to Mysticism & Religion because I didn’t like that all that mystic stuff resided under Science, even though that one rather meant Science and Anti-Science; the posts have moved accordingly.
And lest this post becomes too boring – even though the music quiz will start in nearly one hour – a little poem created by Poetron and quickly translated by me:
Farewell to the friend
The lovely one believe.
She may believe and experience!
Alas, mystic, terrible being you,
Why still pray for the ladies?
Eternity drowns,
The proper science believe,
And unkind nonsense poisons the hearts!
Healing with barcodes – what an exceptionally stupid search query, I thought when I found it in my logs. But I forgot: Nothing is stupid enough to not have been used by mystic dreamers1 and imparted to like-minded people. As is the case here, for you quickly find a book on Amazon (Germany) titled “Neue Homöopathie nach Körbler 3: “Heilen mit Strichcodes”, 8. Körbler-Tagung 2006″ = “New Homeopathy according to Körbler 3: “Healing with Barcodes”, 8th Körbler conference 2006″. (Seems this stuff is mostly unknown outside of the German-speaking countries.)
Quite funny, an electrician(!) in the 1980s calls his imagination of, yes, circuits in the energy current in the human body “New Homeopathy”, and what does it have in common with classic homeopathy? Exclusively the fact that “the therapist and the patient/customer must believe in the method in order to achieve a possible placebo effect” (translated quote from German EsoWatch). 
I’m wondering if any homeopath ever sued against that name…
So we got barcodes and symbols instead of globules, dowsing rods instead of talks, scientifically non-tenable “energies” instead of preparations dilluted to complete lack of active ingredients. Well, each mystic to his own…
A Bavarian “health oasis farm” which offers, besides common wellness things, numerous mysticism treatments and seminars, happens to advertise in a current regional weekly magazine (disqualifying its “wellness & health” section with a homeopathy article) also a weekend seminar about this pretended “information medicine” for only 250€, apparently without hotel room and meals.2
Matching (and suggested by Amazon), there’s the book “Medizin zum Aufmalen – Heilen durch Informationsübertragung und Neue Homöopathie / Praxiserfahrungen mit den Körbler’schen Zeichen” = “Paint-on medicine – Healing by information transfer and New Homeopathy / Practical experiences with Körbler’s symbols” by Petra Neumayer and Roswitha Stark. From the press comments (all quotes are my translations), Prisma Dec. 2006/Jan. 2007:
What does ‘Ötzi’ the Iceman have to do with the new understanding of healing?
That the “New Homeopaths” used him to promote their stuff; apparently they managed to bend their “knowledge” to match his tattoos.
Ötzi had utilized the principles of energy medicine instead of today’s machine medicine.
Firstly, what should a man who lived 5300 years ago have known about the modern machine medicine, and secondly, how should his mummy be able to refute that allegation about “energy medicine” anyway?
Press comment (from wherever) by Layena Bassols Rheinfelder, August 2006, who is a book author and provider of services in this area herself with something she’s calling “PraNeoHom”:
This book gives the beginner a way to start, to taste, maybe even to open up into engaging in unlimited possibilities.
Unlimited possibilities of self-delusion and/or fooling his fellow men and/or raking in money, one is tempted to add…
Short description:
For all times, Native American peoples have used signs and symbols to increase strength and courage. Also, tattooed lines have been found on wounded body parts of the famous iceman “Ötzi”, and the scanners of supermarket cash registers recognize products by their barcodes… Symbols, simple lines and signs have been used from time immemorial in numerous cultures to transmit information and activate self-healing capacities. […]
Hey, the barcodes are healing cash registers! Great, didn’t know that! Now that should really be the argument against RFID labels!
Of course this must be “proven” with pseudoscience – and conveniently Amazon also automatically refers to “Das Kraftfeld der Symbole: Logos. Schriftzüge. Runen. Pyramiden. Kultische Zeichen. Kosmische Hieroglyphen u. v. m. radiästhetisch untersucht” = “The Force Field of Symbols: Logos, writings, runes, pyramids, cultic symbols, cosmic hieroglyphs and many more examined radiesthetically” by Hartwig Fritze.
By the way, it would be a fallacy to conclude that the longer the book titles, the crazier the statements inside – because Amazon also lists Balder’s and Dreksler’s book with subtitle, even having to abbreviate “WUNSCH-BULLSHIT IM UNIVERSUM. Eine Kritik der Wunsch-Bestellungen im Universum von Rhonda Byrne, Pierre Franckh, Bärbel Mohr, Esther Hicks und Kurt Tepperwein – auf dem schmalen Grat zwischen Nicht-mehr-Satire und Noch-nicht-Wissenschaft balancierend” – an entertaining book criticizing that “The Secret”-type wishing bullshit.
Amazon.de kindly provides the introduction of “The Force Field of Symbols” – it starts by using a mythological story collection, in this case the Genesis (“In the beginning… God said”, etc.), and the banality that an architect has to have an idea of a house before he builds it as a basis to “explain” via a nice non sequitur that thoughts also have “vibrations/oscillations” and “force fields” and that these are transfered into writings and symbols.
And the mystics said: Let there be nonsense. And it was so.
And the mystics saw that it was good,
good to deceive themselves and other gullible ones.
And there was evening, and there was morning: the next bosh.
And since this book is about radiesthesia, these oscillations and fields can of course be sensed with dowsing rods and pendulums. But why stick with one bizarre fallacy? The reader needs to see already in the introduction what he can expect in the book!
Now if matter is oscillating, i.e. transmits electromagnetic waves, which can be measured with a dowsing rod, then it’s logical that thoughts, too, which of course are the foundation of all matter in the shape of spiritual concepts, are nothing but electromagnetic oscillations.
Now if you think our modern measuring devices should be able to detect that, you are presented with this convenient evasive addendum which comes as no surprise at all:
However, these oscillations are in a frequency range for which there are no sufficiently sensitive measuring devices available today. But instead, human beings, being the highly sensitive “universal sensor”, are able to communicate with these force fields, in which dowsing rod and pendulum assist the radiesthetic as suitable tools.
Now I don’t know whether that frequency range is specified in the rest of the book, but the assumption that this is not the case is certainly not that far-fetched. (How do they know it’s electromagnetic anyway?)
The tools mentioned are certainly suitable – suitable to make the user’s wishful thinking visible, and nothing more, though.
[…] The mental abilities of radiesthetics make it possible to enter the upper limits that are as yet unreachable for purely physical measuring methods.
For physical measuring methods are unable to fantasize about such things, you still need people to do that.
When working in the mental area, however, the danger of divining mistakes due to wishful thinking as well as physical and psychical influences is big.
That’s readiliy apparent. Already given the measuring method that’s solely based on wishful thinking and ideomotorically induced muscular pulses caused by the conscious or unconscious imagination of a movement, also known as Carpenter effect. (Cf. links below.) Respectable tests with dowsers have never shown significant results beyond mere chance.
Thus dowsing rods and pendulums are anything but scientifically tenable measuring methods, of course independent from whether you believe the statements about the non-existence of physical measurment methods or not.
To keep the error rate as low as possible, the achieved results were checked by other radiesthetics who knew the task but not the results. So only such results are presented here that have passed the blind tests.
Now if these were real (double-)blind trials: respect! But somehow I think that the radiesthetics did actually see the symbols and writings – and, not only thanks to their mystic experience, it is not unlikely that they assess the same shapes with similar results. E.g. hardly anyone probably called wild zigzag patterns highly harmonic, whereas “flowing” might have been found in the description for wave lines more often than if they had just tossed a coin…
So what do we learn from that: Watch your search query logs, lest you miss unscientific balderdash. 
Links:
Photos (originals without barcode/arrows): Nathalie P – Fotolia.com; Elena Vdovina – Fotolia.com; lavotini / flickr (CC-by-nc licence)
All quotes are my translation from the German originals.
Small ads have been a source for mystic-miraculous things before – and currently there’s a brief two-line ad in the Bayrisches Taferl (38/2008) that just contains the web address www.urchristliches-heilen.de (“original Christian healing”) and “in 18 Sprachen” (“in 18 languages”).
Title of the website: “The Worldwide CENTER OF PRAYER AND HEALING BY FAITH of JESUS, the CHRIST”.
I really don’t want to get into the details of the website’s offers – including an “Emergency Service of the Long-Distance Healing by Faith”! – for it is basically just the usual fantasy notions of people believing in spiritual and distance healing, prayers, etc., though quite more mystic than I’d expect from Christians, and in this case it’s of course said to be the powers of Jesus and God that’s just channeled by the healers instead of originating from themselves. All that, by the way, for free, they just ask for donations.
The essential point is, however, that these are not just your common commercial providers of mystic services, but instead – as can be seen on the site as well – a part of the “Universelles Leben e.V.” = “Universal Life”, the religious community of the self-proclaimed prophetess Gabriele Wittek. And they are no unknown people:
Translated quote from the info sheet of the Evangelischen Zentralstelle für Weltanschauungsfragen, the German Protestant center for ideological matters:
Assessment
The Universal Life is a group that is commonly underestimated in its conflict potential. Mrs Wittek sees herself as the “absolute law” not just for her followers, but for the entire world. […] Drop-outs mentioned a “climate of fear and terror” in the community. […]
The Christian elements in the belief system of the UL are, without exception, distorted from their original character and merely a façade. […] The vast majority of followers, however, leave UL sooner or later, often only after years of membership, though. Quite a few who placed the “common good” of UL before their own good also financially, as is expected, ended up financially ruined. In isolated cases, the danger of severe mental harm might be expected.
More in German Wikipedia; the English version is short and lacks the criticism sections.
So it can’t be wrong to think twice before turning to this “Original Christian Healing” or its superior organization…
There’s one detail I’d like to go into, though: on the page “Worldwide Original Christian Healing Prayer for Animals and Nature”, they write, among other things:
Therefore:
- Help stop the murder of people!
- Help stop war against people!
Basically, there’d be nothing to say against that. But with prayers? Keep on dreaming.
- Help stop the war in woods and fields, in slaughter houses and laboratories!
War in slaughter houses? Rump steak versus side of pork, or what? 
- Do not eat the meat of your fellow creatures!
Since you’re referring to Jesus that much: Where does the bible tell its followers to be vegetarians? On the contrary, the “feeding of the 5000” included fish (Mt 14:14-21), and the Passover (preparation in Mt 26:17-19) always contains a paschal lamb, explicitly mentioned in German translations. Or does this point of view originate from your “prophetess”?
Given their wording, they theoretically should be opposed to animals eating their fellow creatures, i.e. other animals, too…
Photo: joejoe77/sxc