» deutsch more content in German | mehr Inhalt auf deutsch

Safer than the Stock Exchange!

2008-10-10

Thanks a lot to the book store/office supplies/lotto retailer Pesch for this investment tip!

Spielt Lotto - Lotto ist sicherer als die Börse!!!

Translation: “Play Lotto – Lotto is safer than the stock exchange!!!”

I immediately followed that recommendation and invested all the money I had left thanks to this financial crisis into four lotto tips. I’ll report tomorrow night after the drawing what the result is. Keep your fingers crossed for me, throw salt over the shoulder, knock on wood, whatever brings luck! ;)

Note: From a legal point of view, this is no investment advice, you’re responsible for your money yourself. Or what was that standard phrase again…?

Now what was it?

2008-10-10

Another typical 419 scam – with just enough oddities to justify my commenting it; I removed some boring parts lest you fall asleep… I underlined the most noteworthy parts.

Subject: LETTER! – Sender: Commercial Bank

GREAT! A LETTER!

>From the Desk of:
Mr. Victor Odili

I am a Manager of a bank,

Which one? Couldn’t make up your mind this time? Man, those spammers are becoming lazier all the time…

writing you in respect of a foreign customer whom made a US$25M depository for an investment program that has remained dormant for years now. On personal investigation, I discovered that the account holder died in Ukrainian aircraft crash, without making a WILL on depository. I have secured from the probate an ORDER OF MANDAMUS to locate any of deceased beneficiaries

All occupants of the car unfortunately lost their lives.

Now what – aircraft or car? :lol:

[…] I contacted you to seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you are a foreigner so that the proceeds of this account valued at US$25

You scumbag! You already grabbed $ 24,999,975 for yourself!

[…] If this proposal is acceptable by you, I expect that you will not take undue advantage of the trust I would bestow in you. I await your urgent response.

Thanks with great regards.

Mr. Victor Odili

Oh, a fraudster hopes not to fall victim to a fraud? Ha ha ha. Well, it’s irrelevant anyway, since the morons who seriously reply to mails like this weill never see anything of the promised millions.

700, or: End of the world in 1 week?

2008-10-09

This is the 700th post in my blog, and as it’s a good tradition, I’m “replying” to a few search requests.

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

[ick my lotto numbers
Up yours too.

lottopre
dictionwontwork.

very gut software lotto
Software no good, can’t predict either.

to the universe which lotto numbers shall I play today
To search.icq.com: what crackpots do you have among your users?

im gonna kneel down and pray till the gods can hear what i say
Question for the doctors: Is it bad for your health to kneel for decades?

pray out loud its the end
Praying won’t help, and it’d be way too early, the end isn’t here yet.

nächst week
What’s supposed tu bie next week?

end of the world in 1 week?
No. And yes, I’m sure about that, because that search request is older than one week. But it even won’t work with the end of the world 2012, sorry.

how to create personal horoscope
Just write anything that’s generic enough for everybody to find something he can relate to, and insert his birthday somewhere.

numerology what does my birthday mean
Exactly as much as in astrology: It’s the day you were born.

Will Number 15 and 26 Match according to Numerology
That depends on what you want – if you want them to match, make up a numerology system that claims that; if not, make up another.

fly and telepathy
Hey, that must be the reason that these beasts so easily escape the fly swatter!

magnet pads effect
0. Or rather: –x with x=exorbitant price you have to pay for them.

e^(i*(3/4)pi)
= -0,707106781 + 0,707106781 i

und means latein
Et bedeutet Latin.

why won’t you call quotes
Well, I didn’t think about it yet. So let’s go: Quotes! Quotes, where are you? Quo-ootes!

I WANT KNOW EVERY LOST IN
Yeah, me also confuse a little the program schedule on German Fox TV, they are showing lots of episodes of Lost. At any rate, there are three episodes of the the 4th season every Saturday at 17:55.

i am lines from we will rock you
You are lines? What a strange delusion…

How do I write a winning notification
Are you a newbie spammer, huh? No, I won’t help people like you.
:bye: We better stop for today, bye, that was all you wanna see.