» deutsch more content in German | mehr Inhalt auf deutsch

 Tag Archives:

health

Links and Video of the Week (2009/9)

2009-03-01

The CimdComp Therapy – better than Bach flowers!

2008-10-27

I recently mentioned the “Bach flower therapy” in which arbitrary 38 “spiritual states” are supposed to be healed with 38 arbitrary plant–water–alcohol mixtures. That’s of cause mystic faith-medicine crap with nothing but placebo effects.

Asian memory But there are better cures! Since I’m working with computers in my job anyway, I was able to create an absolutely effective new kind of therapy which much better fits the spiritual states it heals than the bullshit from Edward Bach. I’m calling it the CimdComp Therapy:

the Cimddologic Computer Component Therapy.

That’s right, you’re not using some plant or another, but instead essential parts of modern life – the best solution in these modern times!

Warning: Use at you own risk!
Reading this post cannot replace a doctor!
In case of strong symptoms, always consult a doctor!
(↑ Blah-blah for legal reasons which nobody who uses it really believes.)

The Components

Pick the component that best fits the current state of your soul in order to cure its disharmonies:

Component: Helps for spiritual state:
Processor (modern) Your thoughts are feeling slow.
Pentium processor with calculation error You recognize: “I’m sooo predictable.”
Motherboard You are suffering from an Oedipus complex.
Voltage converter You’re always feeling very tense.
Case srew (conventional) People tell you: “You got a screw loose!”
Thumbscrew You have sadistic tendencies.
Window from side of case Your exhibitionism is getting too strong.
Hard disk Your spine hurts.
Memory module You can’t remember things.
DDR memory You’re a hopeless fan of former East Germany (DDR).
DDR2 memory You’re a hopeless East Germany fan who wants to rebuild the DDR.
Vibration absorber Your whole body is shivering.
Ink jet printer All that graffiti on your walls makes you angry.
Mouse (with wire) You feel all tied and limited in your mobility.
Mouse (wireless) You are concerned about too much freedom.
Space bar You think your room is too small.
Keys L and O You always have to laugh out loud (*LOL*).

hush! You see, some components are used according to the homeopathic principle “like cures like”, others directly contain the solution. Of course it’s my trade secret how this choice was made.

 

Producing the Essences

First make sure the devices are no longer connected to the power outlet.

  • Pick the component according to the table above and carefully remove it from the system.
  • Put the component into a sufficiently sized box filled with dust such that it’s completely covered by the dust.
    The dust is important because the vibrations inherent in all matter are transfered to it and dust is much more effective for this purpose than water (which also would damage the components more).
  • Leave the component exactly 42 minutes in the dust and make sure it’s not hit by sunlight; then remove the component.
  • Take forceps made of plastics (important! metal would spoil the effect!), pick one fluff of dust and potentiate1 it in 23 hectoliters of distilled water. Stir thoroughly with a plastic spoon for 16 minutes!
  • Use a pipette to take 15 drops from it and put these into a liter bottle of vodka. Turn the bottle 8x vertically in a circle.
  • Drink 4 milliliters from it.
  • Your disease is cured!

Now wasn’t that easy? Isn’t that ingenious? What would you need Bach flowers, homeopathic globules or laying on hands for anymore?

:loll:

Photos: Lev Olkha/Fotolia.com, scol22/sxc

  1. =dilute [↩]

Spiritual healing and publishing your phone number

2008-10-23

spiritual phone Now is it bad giving your phone number on your blog – not regarding possible legal reasons to do so (which is a bit, well, odd in Germany)? Well, I would miss calls like the one this afternoon – which, on the other hand, I somehowcould do without, too.

A woman who reached my opinion on “Top-level spiritual healing” probably with the search phrase (translated) “do you have to say something specific for spiritual healing ?” called me because she, being a beginner, was interested in an introduction to spiritual healing (she’d even pay for it…) and wasn’t sure how that stuff works and if there’s anything to it at all. She apparently assumed I’d offer such services and clicked on my contact details right away without reading my post! 8O

Well, at the least this way I could inform her about what that post was there for – to be read, that is –, and direct her to the link tip, the German GWUP page about paramedicine. Maybe, hopefully, she now refrains from her spiritual healing intentions…

Speaking of blog-related phone calls: I would have missed a praising call for (if I remember correctly) “Healing with barcodes”, too. :mrgreen:

Photo (without phone): Stas Perov – Fotolia.com