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My blog defines the universe!

2008-11-11

Mountainbiker

More specifically: the physical constants – here’s an excerpt:

Mass of the sun MS = 1.98892⋅1030 kg
½ blogAge / √spams = 1,98880 — coincidence?
(blog age in days: 797)

Boltzmann constant k = 8.6174 eV/K
½⋅√publicThongWearers = 8.6168 — coincidence??
(see my poll “men in thongs”)

Electron mass me = 0.511 MeV/c²
(Lotto/UriGeller)1,5 = 0.511 — coincidence???
(total page views of posts with corresponding tags)

Speed of light c = 2.99792458⋅108 m/s
Pierre² √David / √(Michael⋅Julia³) = 2.99799005 — coincidence????
(total numbers of comments)

Of course coincidence. That is, applied “Cyclosophy” which is mentioned today on Mathlog (German) (my translation):

Cyclosophy, developed by Dutch astronomer de Jager, was a parody on some physical papers which based scientific ‘theories’ on coincidental similarities of numbers.

Such as measurements of a bike.

And such relationships between nine physical constants and five numbers of your choice can be calculated online at bei hars.de, which I just did with a few statistics of my blog. :mrgreen:

Photo: david bautista – Fotolia.com

Links of the Week (2008/45)

2008-11-09

The CimdComp Therapy – better than Bach flowers!

2008-10-27

I recently mentioned the “Bach flower therapy” in which arbitrary 38 “spiritual states” are supposed to be healed with 38 arbitrary plant–water–alcohol mixtures. That’s of cause mystic faith-medicine crap with nothing but placebo effects.

Asian memory But there are better cures! Since I’m working with computers in my job anyway, I was able to create an absolutely effective new kind of therapy which much better fits the spiritual states it heals than the bullshit from Edward Bach. I’m calling it the CimdComp Therapy:

the Cimddologic Computer Component Therapy.

That’s right, you’re not using some plant or another, but instead essential parts of modern life – the best solution in these modern times!

Warning: Use at you own risk!
Reading this post cannot replace a doctor!
In case of strong symptoms, always consult a doctor!
(↑ Blah-blah for legal reasons which nobody who uses it really believes.)

The Components

Pick the component that best fits the current state of your soul in order to cure its disharmonies:

Component: Helps for spiritual state:
Processor (modern) Your thoughts are feeling slow.
Pentium processor with calculation error You recognize: “I’m sooo predictable.”
Motherboard You are suffering from an Oedipus complex.
Voltage converter You’re always feeling very tense.
Case srew (conventional) People tell you: “You got a screw loose!”
Thumbscrew You have sadistic tendencies.
Window from side of case Your exhibitionism is getting too strong.
Hard disk Your spine hurts.
Memory module You can’t remember things.
DDR memory You’re a hopeless fan of former East Germany (DDR).
DDR2 memory You’re a hopeless East Germany fan who wants to rebuild the DDR.
Vibration absorber Your whole body is shivering.
Ink jet printer All that graffiti on your walls makes you angry.
Mouse (with wire) You feel all tied and limited in your mobility.
Mouse (wireless) You are concerned about too much freedom.
Space bar You think your room is too small.
Keys L and O You always have to laugh out loud (*LOL*).

hush! You see, some components are used according to the homeopathic principle “like cures like”, others directly contain the solution. Of course it’s my trade secret how this choice was made.

 

Producing the Essences

First make sure the devices are no longer connected to the power outlet.

  • Pick the component according to the table above and carefully remove it from the system.
  • Put the component into a sufficiently sized box filled with dust such that it’s completely covered by the dust.
    The dust is important because the vibrations inherent in all matter are transfered to it and dust is much more effective for this purpose than water (which also would damage the components more).
  • Leave the component exactly 42 minutes in the dust and make sure it’s not hit by sunlight; then remove the component.
  • Take forceps made of plastics (important! metal would spoil the effect!), pick one fluff of dust and potentiate1 it in 23 hectoliters of distilled water. Stir thoroughly with a plastic spoon for 16 minutes!
  • Use a pipette to take 15 drops from it and put these into a liter bottle of vodka. Turn the bottle 8x vertically in a circle.
  • Drink 4 milliliters from it.
  • Your disease is cured!

Now wasn’t that easy? Isn’t that ingenious? What would you need Bach flowers, homeopathic globules or laying on hands for anymore?

:loll:

Photos: Lev Olkha/Fotolia.com, scol22/sxc

  1. =dilute [↩]

Extraterrestrial Greetings to Uri!

2008-09-30

The following message was received by my hyper-highly sensitive cimddologically enhanced sensors on twisted routes through as yet unresearched space-time loops – hence I could not determine its exact origin in space and time yet.

To: Uri Geller and his soul mates
From: Your friends from the planet ...1
Subject: Heeelloooo!

Dearest Friends,

We were really really excited about your message, since we really couldn’t imagine that there were still sooo many wacked out dreamers that believe in us. That’s totally cool! It causes huge POSITIVE VIBRATIONS!

Specially for you, our greatest fans, we immediately set out holistically to fly to you. Unfortunately, due to subtle space-time turbulences in hyperspace, we can’t tell exactly when we will arrive, but with the support of the GREAT ORIGINAL GODDESS we will surely make it before the next after the next end of your world.

A ginormous load of UNIVERSAL ENERGY is waiting right for you... but, well, we have to talk a bit first, you see?

Dearest Uri,
please stop bending spoons all the time, that also bends space-time in the whole multiverse! We don’t like that that much, you know? Even simple stellarnet mails like this can be lost in time, and not even the MASTERS of the Universal Hierarchy can help then, and this makes them all sad.

Dearest Nina,
do you know that your styling is the latest fashion here on our planet now?!? Oh, and it was megagreat how you scared away that “sensible scientist” (pah!) – toootally celestial!2 Can you also give us some of your enormous LIGHT ENERGY? The colleagues from your last meeting were enthused about its mind-expanding effect!

Dearest Erich,
great how you made the journey to your own TRUTH and still can feed on it after so many years! But awww, it’s a pity that all your UFO evidence are mean counterfeits from the DEVIL. :( Pray to the LADY that She helps you find the right way again, then the ANGELS will bring you the *real* evidence that you are longing for so much.

Dearest Vincent,
oh come on, set the ravens free. It’s bad for the karma to use the creatures of Mother Nature, the All-Power, the GODDESS for one’s own purposes – and besides, all other ravens have to work overtime to guide all those souls to the KINGDOM OF THE DEAD. So please, set them free if you love them, will youuuu?

Okily-dokily, don’t be upset, hm? Hope to see you all soon!

Spiritual greetings with lots of violet love,
Your extraterrestrial friends

 

As Wunschliste.de reports (German), among others, ProSieben plans a show on November 15 called (translated) “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens: The incredible TV experiment”, in which he wants to send messages with a radio telescope. Talk guests in the studio: “The Next Uri Geller” winner and raven daddy Vincent Raven, the ancient astronauts dreamer Erich von Däniken and “singer” and mysticism eccentric Nina Hagen. :roll:

See also:
» Proof and faith issues and the strange thoughts of Uri Geller;
» TV show preview.

  1. unfortunately, there was a transmission error at this point [↩]
  2. They obviously refer to the little stir last year when she made Joachim Bublath leave due to her UFO babblings. [↩]

Links and Video of the Week (2008/39)

2008-09-28

Everything’s German today – except the video, and that’s worth watching!

Der Shakespeare-Sketch von Hugh Laurie und Rowan Atkinson:

Nicht vergessen: info@bulk-mail.org nicht veröffentlichen! ;)