Just like last year: Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… this not so good when you wrong, so come to me now!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

please smile

Best wishes!! Merry Christmas!
On Dec 29? A little late, isn’t it?

a good start into the new year but how?
Well, maybe you should start finding answers to this questions a little earlier than 4½ hours before New Year’s Day…

letter on my best girlfriend i am sorry
Then just take it off of her again – I do hope you didn’t staple or glue the letter on your girlfriend!

has the light…i don’t see your face no more….well well my love
i see your face no more…..broken heart…fell well…dream no more…
Your Frogotten In My Brain, But Forever Sitched In My Heart
Lovesick? She didn’t forgive you after that letter? Well… but don’t despair, it’s gonna be fine again…

broke my hear into a million pieces, but we can fuck til you sumtin jesus
Fucking’s not a bad idea – also a way to repress lovesickness… –, but what do you mean with “til you something Jesus”??

uri geler his show with eliens the whole show
Hmm, I got a report about Uri Geller’s show about aliens, but I can’t offer anything about someone rubbing gel on Eliens, whoever that is.

men thong boxer
Do you mean boxers – fist fighters? dogs? – in thongs? Or the question whether to wear “thongs or boxers?” or “thong-boxer” combinations? Well, never mind, better wear briefs. So, guys: Take off boxers, and go vacuuming without slip, because this is how i begin the new year. But beware, there may be panties thieves, so don’t keep your underwear lying around unattended!

ice angel porn
Given how cold it is, that’s no surprise. So better keep your panties on!

I got in my panties…
Yes, what?

THE FILMS FOR REMOVING FROM INTERNET
Surely not on VHS tapes, those won’t fit inside panties. But films that cause your removal from the internet – maybe to jail? Better keep your hands off that crap!

how to scientifically predict lottery numbers
No way.

determine lotto numbers using faith
That won’t help either, the drawing balls won’t listen to your faith.

determine lotto numbers using God
Just as useless – or do you believe your god supports gambilng?
Well, those who first search for “determine using faith” and half an hour later for “determine using God” and click on the same post about pretended Global Scaling lotto prediction, might believe that, too…

the exact lotto numbers take time to be calculated
Sure, so much time until the drawing is over… So better save your useless efforts with your numbers.

not the lotto numbers the combinations
Ah. Well, you can calculate your chances, but that’s all.

Bye, that’s it for this week, and remember: i WanT eVeRYtHiNg YoU wIsHeD FoR bUt Of CoUrSe I hAd To TuRn InTo EvErYtHiNg YoU hAvE eVeR hAtEd AnD fEaReD!!!!!!!!!!eViL oN tHe RuN !!!!wAtCh OuT!!!!

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… Hey, Get Up and Go, and You Never Know!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

sprich deutsch with me
No, I speak English mit dir!

English German funny
Not always.

what,is,erotic,dey,driemer
Someone who isn’t able to use tha space bar because his hand is busy with its favorite occupation – which seems to have negative influence on one’s language capabilities. (Damn!)

how fuck mother-in-law
I think that’s quite similar to other women.

that good porn
That bad English.

they say skys da limit but im tryna leev da planet....
they say sky’s da limit but im trynna lee da planet....
If you can’t decide how to write your search request, I won’t decide what I reply on it.

You’ve fooled them, haven’t you Michael? But not me.
There’s no Michael here (except sometimes for commenting) – better tell him directly over at GreenSmilies.com.

if i see Jesus im gonna whip hios ass
Since the name Jesus is not that rare in some areas, you might be quite busy then…

God’s true nature darkness hate, greed, lust, and other goodies! aha! the mask comes off!!
The great insight you got at Christmas, eh?

fengshui for whom who dosnt have a baby boy
Feng shui is, regardless of whether you have a child or want one, bullshit.

Spiritual power of star cluster M13
That’s easy to calculate: You take the catalog number – in this case 13 – as exponent and the basic spiritual power of the cosmos as base. The result is: 0¹³ = 0.

Astrology & Global Scaling
…are both no real science.

parapsychology only humbug
You got it! Yeah!

moon 2008 looks
…like it did in 2007. And 2006. And will in 2009. And…

is sittn back watchn .....waitn ...... my time will come ..... and when it does its done .....game ova bitch
Fine, game over, that’s it for this post-holiday edition… erm, who’s interrupting?

not without panties
Alright, you’re right, no search request post without panties:

no panties learn
It’s quite simple: Just don’t put on any panties – not much to learn about that.

At last: Bye, and remember: I Am Your Friend and My Love For You Goes Deep

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… Welcome to the bridge, captain!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

dO YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME
Well, who are you? I know nothing about you, you didn’t even send a photo. (Even the dating scam spammers can do better.)

do you think Bruce springsteen would fancy me
Oh, suddenly I’m not good enough any more? Make up your mind!

kitty kitty can’t you see there is no reason
No reason for what? And why are you calling me kitty??

Now I know why, I (…) my love from you some days.”
You know why there’s a gap? So why don’t you fill it?

yOU’VE SEEN HOW BAD THINGS CAN GET,AND HOW QUICK THEY CAN GET THAT WAY. IF WE’RE TO SURVIVE,WE GOTTA WORK TOGETHER…SO WE’RE NOT GONNA ARGUE ANYMORE!!!
Alright, no more arguing. But behave!

its over,there’s nothing you can say to keep me here
Well, then get lost, don’t need folks like you around here.

“look at me! about 1 am…and i’m caught about to let a bird fly”
Oh, you’re still here? Can’t get away from me that easily, huh?

WELL ALL I GOT 2 SAY IS THAT I LOVE YOU I KNOW I PROBABLY ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS BUT IM GONNA KEEP SAYIN IT THERE IS NO LIES IN THESE WORDS NOT 1 BIT YOUR SMILE KEEPS ME ALIVE IS 1 MORE REASON 2 KEEP FIGHTING I WUD GIVE U MY SOUL 4 COMFORT EVEN IF IT LEAVES ME DARK N COLD && WEN U HOLD ME I CAN FEEL N HEAR UR HEART BEAT FAST AND I THINK TO MA SELF IVE FOUND THAT SUM1 AT LAST!!!
(Covering ears) Okay, nice to hear that, but don’t scream like that!

“listen to what she says…i know…i know why…i know why you do what you do…the difference of a single minute comes down to centuries”
Oh, then everything is clear. But tell her not to shout anymore.

inferiority complex signs
You’re googling for it.

In the air the questions hang, will we get to do something? who we gonna end up being? how we gonna end up feeling? whatcha gonna spend your Free Life on???
The meaning of life? Well, sometimes hard to find…

dominatrix fancies haed
Nice for Haed, whoever that may be.

www.two girls one clap.com
That’s not the name of that little movie and not who URLs in general are looking – you really never learn…

thong wearing feeling
I already said it before: Just try it!

all men need to try a thong
See, your friend already tried – and he likes it!

prediction 2009 astrology
My prediction: Astrology will publish a lot of nonsense in 2009 just like it did before.

lucky numbers generate zoidiac signs
No, it’s the astrologers who generate the zodiac signs.

Lord, Hang Another Star in Heaven
Think that’s of any use? Astrologers like to adapt their poppycock even to newly discovered planets, no matter if they lose their planetary status later. So rather let some brains rain from above.

That’s enough for this week, bye, and remember: We all grow up wanting to be stars, but end up as satellites that don’t call home.

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… oh oh one two come baby three four five!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

little patsch animal
Erm, what? No animals are beaten here!

girls fucking teddybear
Certainly not here – maybe ask the expert.

THANKS DOG PORN
Neither shouting nor an early thanks will help you, you won’t get that here. Maybe ask the police dog unit, they might be able to help you. Get into jail, that is.

erotic word starting with X
Xanthippe. Well, not for me, but if there’s one thing you learn on the internet (and especially these search requests), it’s that there’s no fetish that doesn’t exist.

wear thong one week
Ewww! You really should change your underwear a little more often!

the panties are slipping here
Oh, you want your panties/thong to get sticky over time. Well, why not rather buy the correct size for you that doesn’t slip down?

www.pantyes.men.men
You never learn what URLs look like, huh?

www.Ufo and eliens.de
Not much better either.

THE HIDDEN PHYSICS OF THE DOWSING ROD
The only physics hidden in dowsing is the ideomotor effect, “a psychological phenomenon wherein a subject makes motions unconsciously” (Wikipedia). But these are hidden so well that believers don’t want to hear about it…

spiritual healing phone number
Another inexact search for a phone number… you learned nothing since last week!

i feel abashed from all this praise
Praise? There was no praise for you here!

i’m gonna teach you with my Racer Lips
Erm, what are racer lips?

Look what you’ve done with your bloody rock music; you’ve put out the sun
Oh come on, that’s just the night, music isn’t to blame for that.

best name für healer
Worst idea für healing.

god told me lottozahlen
Reason tells me das bringt nichts.

lotto numbers for 13 Dec prognosis scorpio
You can’t just predict them that easily, you must take your scorpion tail and sting randomly into the lotto playing sheet.

vincent raven writes a book
Still better than him “singing” – as long as he doesn’t turn it into an audio book. Caw!

magi.. magi you.. would you lovely name now baby.. i used to be a shadow
Nah, don’t like that magician.

ho wand de say go marchin in
Another variant of “Oh when the saints…” – thanks, dear French googler!

Hey Sweetie, I MISS You & I Love You So So So So MUCH!
Well, then come here!

Alright, got other things to do now, bye, and remember: i never let the actions of another make or break me & i NEVER let a single person shake me because honestly dont give a SHIT who hates me as long as i have my close friends by my side.

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com