Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… do you hear me come on!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

which saint is responsible for computers?
Depending on your religious orientation, it’s either Saint Bill, Saint Steve or Saint Linus, of course.

telephone hypno mistress
Your mistress should order you not to call any expensive phone numbers anymore – as long as you’re an obedient slave, she won’t need any hypnosis.

airport phone number
There are at least as many as there are airports. If you can tell me how the weather in the valley is, I might help you further…

phone number of aliens
Nobody can help you there. Aliens don’t use phones, and not even Uri Geller can change anything about that.

shalosh uri is he crazy
You won’t get any contradiction from me here.

do lucky charms help
Certainly those who sell them – help in a financial way, at least.

lat it#s no
Ohn o. That’s beyond my power.

FENG SHUI COFFERED CEILING SOLUTION
That’s easy: Ignore that feng shui stuff. No matter which ceiling, that’s certainly the best solution.

NOW I WANT TO TALK WITH A GOOD GIRLS GIVE ME THERE PHONE NUMBERS
Your English is getting worse – and stop shouting. And why are you so obsessed with phone numbers anyway??

engel numerology
So we’re turning to a German-English mixture now? But this won’t work – regardless of the language.

“i am also confused” in german
That clearly shows.

German horoscopes in English
Why don’t you try original English horosopes first? Or those in Nahuatl, Swahili or Mongolian – no matter how good you speak those languages, you will be able to find just as much sensible content there.

lotto numbers crazy ideas for selection
Numerology, astrology, read tea leaves, prayers, whatever…

babie ahr nakd
Gezz thet happns.

my blog
No, this is my blog!

only 24 to da 25 just waiting to get my shit for xmas just cant wait to get my breakfast than open presant
You’re looking forward to receiving shit as christmas present?? How about an English school book instead?

the visitors is already 80 ? correct write english?
Ask your friend above, maybe he can help you if he gets his book.

wear thongs what’s great about it
Why don’t you just try for yourself?

nude grandpa browser
A browser for nude grandfathers? Guess the most important thing is that the XXX webcam chat works – the provider might help there; if in doubt, the IE should always work…

gramps sex under the bridge
No no, better stay inside where it’s warm at your computer with your webcam.

well-being
Is important. So we stop for today. Can’t you see, there’s a feeling that come over me?

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… you nackt? Ich am not.

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

Let’s turn to unusual fetishes first: shopping carts without panties — now that’s not hard, just don’t buy panties in a big supermarket (and clothing shops don’t have shopping carts anyway) – and streets. street naked bottomless, of course. A street that’s been washed out underneath? Watch out, it might collapse!

Also a highly sought-after topic: men were more thongs — what, more thongs at the same time than women? Rather from the washing machine to the clothesline, guess it’s too uncomfortable on the body. But what will transsexuals like you and me do? Do they tell each other: show me your ass – translation to english — nothing to translate here, so we can get down to business right away: i find me a german girlfriend for sex in germany — now I wouldn’t mind a foreigner in Germany or a German abroad; hope that was no stupid nazi.

Like a riddle in between? Riddle – 1: You are in a square room, A window in each wall and all windows face south, a bear walks past what colour is it and where are you? (Solution below if you do not find it yourself.)

What’s the current phase of the moon, by the way? I should depilate moon calendar; and who wouldn’t like to know if full moon or new moon good for play lotto? After all you’d want lucky lotto numbers, maybe this warms YOUR HART, the light shines through my heart — come to think of it, it rather sounds like a bullet wound when light shines through a heart. And if not, turn on a lamp – your electricity meter is fuctioing, isn’t it? What’s electricity meter function without n if not “fuctio”? By the way, didn’t you notice: she photographed the electricity meter! Am I blind if you don’t see it? am i blind? can’t you see me standing here waiting in line?

Will aliens arrive on 21 december 2008? — Why should they? There won’t be any in four years either. — earth in 2012 really in dangere researchers report — real researchers won’t report anything, because such end-of-the-world prophecies are utter crap. Which doesn’t mean they can’t be combined in even crappier ways: prophecy atlantis dancer — and what’s the dancer doing? Making a ufo reportash? But tell her to take only real ufo videos (of real extraterrestrials)! Here are all links to such videos:

If that won’t work out, she can still join 11 other girls and shoot a video herself: 12 girls 1 champagne — they should just take at least a Jeroboam bottle, or else it won’t be enough for all. But don’t drink too much, otherwise something like this will be the result: SO MAkE ME LAUGh A LittLE;hELp ME gEt thROUGh. i USEd tO CRy ANd NO ONE kNEW.hELp ME OUt ANd tREAt ME RiGht.iTS bEEN A WHiLE SiNCE i’vE SMilEd tHiS BRigHt.SHOW ME tHAt NOt ALL gUyz LiE bE tHE ONE WHO kEEPs My EyES DRy

*hic* That’s it, gotta stop for today, the water calls to me and tells me to come in.

Oh, the riddle: You’re at the north pole, of course – at least if it’s currently frozen over, or it will be hard for a polar bear to walk by (which is white, of course).

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com