“The Next Uri Geller” show 1 (2nd season 2009) – Opinion, tricks, explanations

This is a report about one of the second season shows from 2009. You may also:
» Display all my reports about this season 2.
» Display everything about the first season 2008.
» Display all articles about Uri Geller.

bent So what can we expect today, which hopefully entertaining magic tricks and performances and which mystic Geller babble? In the press release, ProSieben features the “poker mentalist” Kris – with tattoos of the card colors, alledgedly “the sign of a secret poker guild” –, quoting him: “I can influence luck”. (All quotes are my translations.) Yo, anyone can so by cheating, so watch out you don’t get caught. ;)

The other contestants today are Jan Becker (“reads his opposite’s mind like an open book”), Ully Loup (“plays a dangerous game with the angel of death” – also a raven…?), Jan Rouven (“risks being pierced with a burning arrow” – wouldn’t that rather be a trick for the Kreuznach Indian?) and Danny Ocean (“even bends forks to become the next spoon bender” :lol: ).

Celebs are needed, too: Tatort actressn Simone Thomalla, singer and comedian Bürger Lars Dietrich and Next Topmodel (required) fourth Carolin Ruppert:

Carolin […] feels “an eerie anticipation. Hopefully it won’t be that bad. I must spend the night after the show alone…”

Oh, I believe a few male viewers would like to change that…

Alright, the show starts – “a new chapter, a new dimension”… We’re starting with the 10 contestants in a semi-circle with two strange haircuts at the ends and the lady in the center. Host Stefan Gödde arrives and briefly explains that Vincent Raven, last year’s winner, will defend his title. Quick candidate introduction (see above), then Spoon-Uri waves hello. He’s still overwhelmed from the success of the first season and is sure that the 2nd will become even better. Quick explanation of how it works: One of the contestants is voted out, but Geller can “immunize” one.

New: There will be big “live experiments” (yeah, that’s how they call it…) outside the studio (though that did that last time, too, but pre-recorded) – and Verena “cleavage of the show” Wriedt enters the stage(!), she will be the outdoor host. The flaming arrow archers are shown. Verena in the cold – fully dressed, that is? Can’t work out.

Vincent Raven briefly appears; Uri takes his seat; and the celebriies are introduced (see above). Note to the cameramen: portrait closeups do not need to be cut off right beneath the shoulders. Photo of Caro with falcon on her arm – “what if it were Vincent’s raven”? Probably wouldn’t have felt well, she says. Vincent sits alone in the 2nd row behind the cebs, and the other 5 contestants in the 3rd. And a viewer is to confirm they’re broadcasting live – though he doesn’t have a TV with him. But we know this from season one already.

Contestant 1: Jan Becker

The master of the apostrophy haircut, erm, thoughts. Short clip for introduction, Jan babbles about sea of thoughts and a door to it that he can open. Topically half Uri, his way of speaking and formulation could need more mystic polish to get near Uri in this regard… says he’s rather anxious about what will happen than nervous.

“The art of mind reading in its purest and prettiest form” is what he wants to show us. Time travel with a direcly picked lady in third row – she thinks about her date of birth. Jan gets it right, of course. “It can happen to anyone tonight” – including a lady in row one. Zodiac sign, “last letter: e” – wrong, “was only a test”, ha ha. Aries. Right. “Did wie arrange anything?” No. “Do you believe that?” No, he didn’t ask this last question. Now 3 zodiac signs simultaneously. Of course correct. And that was just for warm-up…

…for now it’s time for the 3 celebs, sit with eyes closed on seats on stage. Simple geometric shape with another simple geometric shape inside – that’s what Simone is to think while he holds his hand next to her head. Carolin: country and city in that country. Lars: PIN number and bank card. Eyes open. Touches each forehead.

Triangle and circle (quite common; didn’t say what’s outside and what’s inside). Spain and Barcelona. 7325 and Visa card (made up, which Jan likes). Simone stays, rest leaves. Eyes closed again, cane touches head, time travel to past, but nice memory, age/date – “fine”. 6.10.89. What happened then? Hard floor, curtains, masks. Stretch arm, he holds her hand. Writes a name on a board which she should say before he shows it: Sophia. Her daughter, see Wikipedia.

People can phone in now for 2 minutes if they liked Jan.

Geller’s judgment: Incredible, stage presence, excellent. Wenn, didn’t knock me off my chair, but I’ve seen more boring and long-winded stuff before. How he did it? Placing a few people you arranged things with in the audience and arrange things with the celebs or read up on them beforehand is nothing unusual.

20:45: commercials. 20:50: back again. Oooh, few customers, no high ratings expected, it seems.

Contestant 2: Kris

Gabel betet stehenden Löffel an …or Christian Finke, “mental poker player”. Clip: work-out some time, sent his buddies 52 cards one after another before he returned. Says he kinda reverses his poker experience to not only look through people but influence them. The stage is yours – and he narrates about poker dominating his life for 20 years (he’s 30 now) with about as little enthusiasm as Vincent last year. Caro on stage, short talk. Pick one of 52 cards, hold at her heart – i.e. half on skin, half on fabric, unfortunately with only little cleavage next to it. Well, she was just 4th place anyway.

Look at card without him seeing it. His hand on her shoulder, her hand on his heart (”beats quite fast”), think about the color, he stares in her face and talks, recognizes (through her minimal reactions?) black, spades; Queen of spades. Marked cards?

Four audience members, picked by Caro; deck of cards (with rubber band) passed around, each is to memorize one card when bending half the deck up. Rock music ’cause he must concentrate – that’s a plus. :) Hand on each shoulder, stare in the eyes. Then he draw 5 cards on a board (which we can see, but those on stage can’t). Unnecessarily they are told to raise a hand when they see their cards, “give me 5”, sit down – or for Caro: “give me a kiss on my cheek”.

Another 2 minutes to call, again Geller’s opinion: He’d be scared to play poker against him – understandable. “Very talented”, hopes for many more shows with him. Well, I think he was quite okay, but nothing worldshaking.

Contestant 3: Jan Rouven

“The man with 7 lives” (cats got 9, don’t they?) – his manager considers some things too dangerous, he says. Jan “loves playing with danger” – “as mysterious as incredible”. We switch to Vernena outdoors – with Caro. Verena in an ugly fur coat, by the way. There’s a doctor and the archers, Jan’s heart’s beating fast. He’s sure it will work, so “the stage is yours” – though it’s a parking lot this time. 4 large boxes, 3 of which, picked by Caro, will be hit with flaming arrows. Jan enters one of them without Carolin seeing which – but she’s told to make her mind up and look Jan in the eyes before he hides. A way too long mind reader babble follows, she’s to imagine everything in slow-motion, bla bla. A TNUG show without long-windedness is apparently impossible.

While Jan climbs into a box behind a screen, the two ladies to some smalltalk. The boxes stand on a platform that appears to be reflecting in the front – lights are briefly blinking when someone in front, archers or someone next to them, passes by, and legs can be seen too – so Jan’s got enough space to crawl under the boxes without danger. At least boxes 1-3 burn very fast (so that’s why he had to talk that long before) and quite effectively (and Jan of course steps out of no. 4). “Caro is flabbergasted, everyone’s flabbergasted”, Verena says – well, even if she noticed something, she’s certainly not allowed to say anything.

Geller shivered on his chair, incredible tension in the studio. Hopes to see more of Jan. Well, why not. At least he was faster than Raven with his burning coffins last year.

Contestant 4: Danny Ocean

Gabel betet Löffel an Illusionist with charisma, or something like that. Geller says Danny does something for which he himself is famous – and Danny says he didn’t understand what Geller said so he has to repeat it before Danny can say his rehearsed line about fork bending – a minus right at the beginning…

Lars onto the stage – told to fetch a few forks from the canteen (with camera accompanying him). Boah, does this have to be? We’re told to fetch forks too (though nothing more about them later). Lars gets a handful – is that “as many as he can”? Well, at least it was fast, short distance. Danny waves one of the forks, concentrate, a prong is bending – Lars can do that too. Next fork is rubbed, also bends.

Two forks atop each other, don’t match perfectly – Danny bends one by force, now it matches better; one for comparison. Lars holds one between flat hands, rubs, told to believe he can bend it! Center of fort supposed to press upwards – check, right, bent. Keep rubbing with a finger, bent again – or just put the other way round on the comparison fork?

Wants to rule out heat-sensitive material, so he takes a lighter, nothing happens. How did he get this bending idea? Scratches like alledgedly long ago with friends at his head, another prong bent. And then twists it below the prongs.

Well, whether you prepare forks or spoons, the pre-bent or covertly bent metal (whether switched or deposited in the canteen) doesn’t mind. At least the forks with their 4 prongs are more “diverse”… Geller’s old tricks are known, anyway (cf. links below).

Geller says he’s honored, “seemed almost better than mine”. Well. At least it wasn’t lengthy, but otherwise? Unnecessary like Geller himself.

Contestant 5: Ully Loup

I somehow expected a lower voice for this soul wanderer, judging by his photo. “It’s about the living, it’s about the dead”, “maybe there will be an extrasensory perception”. Yeah, sure. Simone has to get up. “Curses are the only spells that really work.” :roll: The “Angel of Death”, a painting in some strange style that rather looks like a crucified alien Jesus is lowered from the ceiling.

Simone’s told to write a female name of a person close to her clearly (an assistant probably has to be able to read it on a monitor) on the first card. (Ully doesn’t look.) Male on no. 2, name of a dead on 3, celeb – she knows none, “think about poliics” – on no.4, another celeb first name on 5, the nervous Simone takes forever… “I’m really blocked, I’m so nervous.” Did she forget the prepared names, or what? Mix the cards.

Vincent – pardon, Ully – puts the cards in a row. Simone then is told to point on cards, if the last one is that of a living person, that person’s to encounter the angel of death in the future – curse and stuff. Would rather fit into a crypt like Vincent’s than in such a large studio. “Do you want to face this responsibility?” Doesn’t, of course. Concentration. Speak name of the dead – Jan Jr., hand on one card other hand on another; the other 3 are put away on a stack, one of the last 2 then too.

He turns the stack, calls [name] lives each time. The last – still under her hand – is of course the dead name. (Probably marked or slightly different in size.) This, however, wasn’t done that quickly, he of course needed some time to play with the feelings of the gullible among the audience (and celebs).

Geller thought it was great.

Decision and Conclusion

Geller immunizes Jan Rouven, no arrows of outrageous phone fortune to suffer from today for him. So you’re supposed to phone for one of the other 4, those who called for Rouven before, well, they thus gave Pro7 a little present (though still remain in the 5000€ raffle).

Commercials again. Then “giant applause for the courageous celebrities”. Simone doesn’t want to know how that worked with life and death and stuff. Carolin is confused and calls Rouven Jan Ullrich…

Vincent, who will face the best two in the final, is all relaxed, while we’re waiting for the notary with the result. Which, of course, is announced exaggeratingly slow, as usual. Including 15 second spot for a nun yoghurt. Loser: poker mentalist Kris.

Briefly announced for next week: Amila and her water tank. And thus we’re done on time at 22:13 – it simply wasn’t that lengthy that often as season 1 –, so quickly switch to Eurosport for snooker! Just a little positive note: There was none of Uri’s audience dumbing “experiments” and no alledgedly respectable occupational group as “trustworthy vitnesses” – two nonsensical things from the first season that ProSieben kindly saved us from.


Can be called quite disastrous: only 2.21 million viewers total (7.0% market share), 1.54m in the target group aged 14-49 (12.1%) (source: Pro7 teletext). That’s less than any 1st-season show.

See also:

» Go to all my posts about Uri Geller. »

Photos: wilhei66/sxc, shadowvincent/Fotolia, shadowvincent/Fotolia

1 Trackback

  1. S

    Die Löffel da oben wirken aus der entfernung betrachtet ein wenig wie Spinne.

  2. S

    nicht das deine fliege der löffelspinne ins netz geht

  3. S

    Ja, genau jene meinte ich. Die arme Löffelspinne ;)

  4. J

    Hab eben die Vorschau gesehen, aber nicht gecheckt, dass das heute ausgestrahlt wird. Zum Glück hab ich keine Zeit, sonst würd ich noch auf die Idee kommen, den Quatsch zu schauen…

  5. K

    Ich würde mal sagen Dreieck und Kreis sind so die gängigsten Sachen die man sich unter ‘einfache Geometrische Figur’ vorstellt, oder? Hatte ich zumindest auch im Kopf (meine Güte bin ich vorhersehbar ;) )

  6. S

    Das sind Standartgedanken wenn man an Geometrische Dinge denkt, so viele gibt es nicht, ausser das Vieleck

  7. M

    Brauchst einen Anti-Spinnen-Smilie? Oder lieber einen gegen Uris?

    • c

      Die Besteckspinnen sind jetzt nicht so furchterregend, aber wenn die grünen Lächler etwas gegen Uri und Vincent tun könnten… :)

  8. VL

    also die Nummer eins und fünf fand ich ja noch am besten, die hatten eine vernünftige Performance. Unser schon seit 20 Jahren pokernder, jetzt dreißigjähriger Kris, war nicht so berauschend, aber markierte Karten waren es auch nicht! Die Wilhelm Tell Nummer war nicht wirklich der Bringer, und damit Caro nicht sieht in welche Box machen wir dies hinter einem gaanz großen Sichtschutz, und die Gabelichbiegdichjetztnummer fand ich ja sehr lustig, hab ich hier von einem Kollegen schon schöner gesehen.
    Naja, alles in allem wird sich der Sender schon was gedacht haben, hoffentlich. Aber was?
    Ich würde mich auch über einen Kommentar bei mir freuen, mein Artikel über “the next Uri Geller” ist zwar nicht ganz so ergiebig wie deiner, aber …

    Grüße aus der Haupstadt

    • c

      Pro7 und sich was denken? Passt das zusammen? ;)

      (Deinen Kommentar hab ich aus dem Spam gefischt – die Keywords, die du als Namen eingegeben hattest, mussten aber dran glauben…)

  9. jan rouven ist TOLL

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