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The B-side of the Day (17.1.)

2009-01-17

Singles A new, irregular series of posts that will of course focus on Queen… (Due to unclear legal issues, I won’t embed the songs here but just link to them – they are only one click away, anyway.)

“Lily Of The Valley” was the B side1 of the Queen single “Now I’m Here” which was released this day 34 years ago, on 17 Jan 19752 – » here’s a “video” with the lyrics. (The “had” at the beginning is from the line “Baby you’ve been had” of the song before – both are blended. Unfortunately I didn’t find a better version (with lyrics) online.)

A and B side together can be heard here, and here’s a live version from late 1974 of “Now I’m Here”.

Opinions on this series (and the song selection) explicitly wanted. :)

Photo: clix/sxc

  1. yeah, that was back then when music was still sold on large, usually black vinyl discs that had music on both sides… [↩]
  2. I’ll usually use the UK release dates here [↩]

And then you may

2009-01-16

Ausschau haltend Welcome to the latest edition of “replying” to search queries… and this will continue – baby i ve got so many reasons!

For those who don’t know yet: These search phrases, highlighted in grey, led people here, and I neither shortened nor extended them nor made them up, I just translated the German ones.

and then you may
…what? What is it you want?

how do i getyour panties
Giveme yours first, will you? Who are you anyway, asking such questions?

i am the lay
Welcome. (Unusual name, innit?) But no, I won’t give you my underwear, you could only steal it from my clothesline. Or do you have a sister?

remove panties pubic hair
If panties remove pubic hair, you should wash more often!

die punctual leute (statistics)
Those people are punktuell pünktlich, but I don’t have any statistics about how punctual Denglish speakers are, sorry.

HaVE YOU HEART; SAY YOU SEE
I got a heart and I’m not blind. But will this information help you in any way?

capricorn 2009-how do the stars say
If stars could speak English, they’d just say “capricorn 2009”. But stars can’t talk. And the stuff that astrologers utter is useles..

what does nostradamus say 2009
He’s dead for 442½ years, he won’t say a word!

2012 end the world who says thet
Did you mean: 2012 end of the world – who says that?
Morons, dreamers and the like.

Can you buy a lotto ball
Bribe? No, the balls don’t need money. If you want your own lotto ball: Take a table tennis ball and write the numbers on it yourself.

uri keller fake
Of course! The stuff that Uri Geller says about “paranormal abilities” etc. is nonsense already – and how could a Uri Keller say something real, then?

uri gella first show when
Geller. Started nine minutes before you searched.

Say Baby .. Am I Crazy.. Or Are You Giving Me The “Eye”..
There are (at least) a film, album and game named “The Eye” – even if I had all of them, I wouldn’t give any to you, so: you are crazy.

from lost numbers to next lotto calculation
the Lost numbers are already within the 1 to 49 range, so no need to calculate. But you won’t find a connection with the actually drawn numbers this way nor any other way.

fucking on the ice
Brrr! Only with a thick mattress underneath and/or a warm sleeping bag.

:bye: Let’s quickly jump into the warm bed, that’s it, bye! And remember: GOT TO BE MORE, MORE OF THIS WORLD, MORE OF THIS WORD THAN YOU CAN SEE, I WANNA YOU GOT TO GIVE TO ME!

Photo: Coka – Fotolia.com

Cautiously worded

2009-01-15

Cautiously worded

Translation: The spreadsheets you want to delete might contain data. Press Delete to really delete them.

Dear Excel 2007,

firstly I only want to delete one spreadsheet, and secondly it’s damn obvious that it contains data – no need to say it that carefully.


FAIL³

2009-01-15

champagne Usually I hit the Mute button whenever there are adverts on radio, ’cause there often is a lot of annoying crap there – which I find confirmed when occasionally I do hear some ads, like shortly before New Year’s Eve.

The ad I’m refering to here was, on its own, not that bad – no silly singing around or overenthused proclamations of the oh so sensational offers etc. –, but that a brand of champagne, Mumm, that is (German), advertises the year horoscope on its website on the radio, well, even though it’s common to greet the new year with a glass of champagne, that’s a bit… odd. Since I was curious about the nonsense they babble in that horoscope, I opened that site – and it FAILs usability and content in multiple ways, I think:

FAIL #1: The start page

Der Zugang zu dieser Seite ist nur volljährigen Personen erlaubt. Bitte geben Sie Ihr Geburtsdatum ein:

Translation: “Accessing this site is only allowed for persons of age. Please enter your date of birth.”

A ridiculously noneffective age verification – might this even make some visitors expect more than a little alcohol? If at least this was effective and protect children from nonsense such as horoscopes…

FAIL #2: Loud music

For if you have jumped this huge hurdle of your date of birth, a cheap pop-ish jingle including spoken slogan booms at you, and no volume control or mute button on the site. Luckily it’s “only” 15 seconds long – and lucky are those who have a Mute button on the keyboard. But the sentence “Mumm ist, wenn man’s macht” = “Courage is if you do it” does fit somehow…

FAIL #3: The horoscope itself

Which was written by a certain Michael Allgeier, also not unknown (German) in the astro scene. Again with a date-of-birth selection dialog – however, even though labeled “Your personal horoscope 2009”, there is only one text for each span of ten days. And with the ususal newspaper horosope wish-wash with general section and sections about love/relationship, job/money and fitness/wellness all over. :yawn:

And they added a little lexicon which of course is so impudent to take all this stuff serious and describe astrology itself as (my translation):

A thousands of years old empirical science that puts man in a certain relationship system to the star constellations. This symbol system allows the drawing of conclusions about the individual abilities and problem areas of a person. Certain prognostic techniques also allow considerations regarding future developments or events. Also statements about relationships among persons or entire peoples can be done with the help of astrology.

(Needless to say that astrologers (a) disagree on their statements and (b) in the way they reached them – even if (c) they just say the usual shallow stuff. Needless at least among those who don’t blindly follow their astrologers…)

Somehow I got the impression that someone consumed too much of his own product to get the idea to do all this that big and in a serious manner…

See also:

Photo: vierdrie/sxc