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Internet

A p and then 5 letters

Don’t ask me nothin’ about nothin’ i just might tell you the truth! Welcome to the search requests of the first half of April that led visitors here. (Search requests are highlighted in grey; I didn’t make them shorter or longer or up, I just translated the German ones.)

Do you want it? do you need it? can you feel it? tell me!

Pictures without panties? — No, not this time. –- Pictures.with.out.panties! — I said no! — i dont wanna read nothin — Read nothing? Then leave; all others, enjoy!

faith one two three tell me that you— Pardon? (Ah, there it is: a p and then 5 letters!) — do you believe in magic and i hope you do, you’ll always have a friend wearing big read shoes. — Oh c’mon, magic??

Can black magic stop your right thinking? — It apparently did already, since you believe such crap!

how to do black magic in oder to get my girl friend free information? — Free information can be found on the net without black magic, too. ;) Alright, you rather wanted free info about finding your girl. Why not join the woman interested in “black magic get the man you want”. But don’t mix it up with “what black magic to do to cause hate between two people” or even “free kill your self by black magick”!

magical oil that if i use lift me up to be wealthy? god lift me up where we belong! — Oh stop it, will you? — they call me a dreamer, i’m not the only one — well, that’s certainly true…

Jesus light switch God give me the power of thing like light on and off — You mean a light switch like that on the left? Erm, not a good idea, I think.

As you know, there are more than enough religious orientations, e.g. religion is the smile on your face, some wonder if there is an answer in the sound of the train or “birds tapping on windows? good or bad” or are even interested in a cosmic influence on the sexes. :roll: In a sense, they found the perfect place here…

god on planets? believe there a life after died in other planets? — I don’t think that the bible says something about that. Not that this had any meaning for me, but there are many believers. — kaka believes in god. — The football player? So what, just let him. But enoug about this topic for today.

I believe — What did I just say?!? — i’ve thrown up. — Ah. Yuck, yes, that doesn’t have much to do with religion anymore. Were you the guy who wanted to be so thorough with his search: ‘two girls one cup original’ original?

Let’s turn to other topics, shall we?

has a year 50 or 52 weeks in mathematics?
the science of lottery prediction?
lotto numbers which are drawen the moest?
electrisity meter the funnction photos?

Aah, no, other topics, nothing to throw up!!

I only got five minutes to say the word — Now that must be a long word. Even for something like Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, you don’t need five minutes.

What can you say to turn on a guy? — Say? Visual or tactile stimulation are probably more effective. body body baby let me feel you, and we’ll make love together, cause i know if you’re in love with me tonight we’re raining! (Huh?) — You’ll only wear women’s underwear from now on! — What?? No! Stop!

Enough excuses and lies for this time, bye, I’ll go now, and i’ll take my cat, and we’ll go fishing in heaven!
:bye:

Desperately seeking sh*t

I’m currently testing the WordPress statistics plugin WassUp – it offers a nice chronological list of the recent accesses (including search phrases and result pages), a live view of current activities and more. And all this locally, without relying on external servers.

We’ll see how well WassUp works – and how exactly it counts, because even with hiding bots and spams, there seem to be more views than other tools tell (well, the feed accesses apparently have to be subtracted manually…).

So far, I quite like it – I also noticed that the detection of known bad hosts by comparing the name against a 6700+ lines text file costs quite some server performance; 1.5 instead of 0.7 seconds for a typical page generation ist not much, sure, but a clear difference all the same, which is why I disabled that feature for now.

Why this post title, you ask? Well, while looking at the Visitor Details I came across a few search engine users’ visits worth mentioning (click the screenshots to go to my respective posts):

A US American searching for a certain gross video (Wikipedia) clicks his way through to the 39th results page – is he really so desperately searching?
wassup1

My rebus about certain celebrity escapades made the first page of the German Google image search: :)
wassup2

Lotto dreamers, at least, receive the proper information (well, except for a browser update):
wassup3

No nudity today…

nutity prohibited Oh how well this fits to my yesterday’s post‘s splash picture. ;)

Some blogs make themselves “nude” today on CSS Naked Day, i.e. remove their design created using CSS, in order to honor the web standards developers and point out these standards and their promotion.

A great English praise can be found at Lorelle’s, including a plea for advancing standards towards built-in automatic translation (well, there’s certainly much work left to be done to make these undertandable…).

Well, anyone as he likes (the “prohibited” sign isn’t meant serious in this regard) – I personally don’t see much point in showing an “ugly” page to my visitors, only a fraction of which will probably understand what this is about and rather think of an error – until they noticed the information hopefully displayed clearly by all participants, that is. :)

Here, by the way, it’d look like this (click for large view):

nacktes Design

Those who want can, for instance, select View → Page Style → No Style in Firefox’s menu, then this site will look and work just like that without a CSS design.


photo © Hoss F. (flickr)

400, or: So many questions…

tits This is post # 400 in this li’l blog o’ mine (don’t get confused by the number in the URL, that one also counts drafts, pages and uploads). I know, others might just raise a light smile, at best, at these numbers, but… so be it.

As in the 300th post, which also started in a similar fashion, I’m gonna address some of the questions and statements I have been approached with through the search engines (and I’ve translated the German ones for you; the search phrases have a grey background):

  • pages nobody needs
    Won’t find these here. :mrgreen:
  • monster tits
    Well, I certainly wouldn’t call the two tits in the upper right corner (photo by Max xx / flickr) monsters. Alright, from an insect’s point of view, maybe, but otherwise?
  • birds keep passing by to tell me
    And what do they tell you?
  • i am the lord your god this is what is real and weather you like it or not the human race has only one destiny
    And, erm, which destiny is that?
  • masturbation!
    Aaaah yes. Okay, not that I‘d listen to a god, but if you say so – hang on, I’ll be back in several minutes…

twiddle thumbs

 

well and now?

tired

 

panties down Alright, back to the fact i’m the mack and i know that, let’s continue with a panties update (photo by Meredith_Farmer / flickr):

  • crappy panties!
    Well, yeah, you’re somewhat right; just mention panties once, and you get those search requests…
  • show me your panties
    Nope.
  • what do you see below the panties?
    Maybe you can see the background through the gap bewteen the legs? ;)
  • the panties of the aunt
    What about ’em? And why on earth is it aunts who are so popular when it’s about panties or being nude??
  • guys wearing girlfriend’s panties
    how the hell can you think your beautiful?

That’s enough, before another visitor arrives with the panties size of paris hilton, let’s move on to other topics quickly:

  • uri made geller it
    I think don’t so.
  • write one mails where I serious counter
    Hmm, that might be difficult…
  • newst celphones by apel
    Very difficult! Better forget about it.

Now just a plea to the universum : 6 correct lotto numbers. And now it’s time for bed, i am too weak, that’s it for today, bye!
:bye:

How long can a fx live?

  • What whaddaya want?
    “Answer” a few questions from search queries (highlighted with grey background, German ones translated) that took visitors to this site in the first half of March.
  • Then go ahead, who waits forever anyway?
    We already started…
  • how long can a fx live?
    Hmm, maybe 2 years in the wild and 8 years in captivity – that is, two thirds of how long a fox can live (cf. Wikipedia), with regard to the number of letters? At least that would be a concrete answer that applies to the “live” in the question – unlike “fax” or “effects” or whatever…
  • what does miracl mean in German?
    Wundr.
  • what can be read in tarot cards?
    Well, you can try to cut one open (but watch out, don’t hurt yourself when cutting open such flat things like cards!), the you’ll see if there’s something written inside that you can read. :mrgreen:
  • where do we come from belief doubt
    I don’t know about you, but I just came back from the toilet. And yes, I did wash my hands, you really can believe that, without a doubt.
  • will god give up on me?
    Might be more sensible the other way round. :teufel: But if you believe in him, you should ask him directly, since Google or other search engines, as mentioned before, certainly aren’t got.

  • where to buy spoon bender?
    I suggest you ask Uri Geller. He might not be cheap, though…

  • has anyone ever used the musical scale to predict the lottery numbers?
    :lol2: Indeed, there are strange questions and hopes… But well, that will yield the same results as other “methods”, that is, none, because:
    who can predict lotto numbers?
    Nobody.
  • what percentage of women wear pantys to bed?
    I don’t know. Therefore: :mrgreen:
    (Men may vote on behalf of their wives/girlfriends)

Women: Do you wear panties in bed?

View Results

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  • are there human beings on other planets?
    No, not yet. But some are planned to land starting in 2020 or later.
  • 50 million blow flies can’t be wrong
    That’s no question. And stay away with your blowflies! Smilie by GreenSmilies.com Even a single one is what I wouldn’t want in my apartment.
  • whats the song that goes free your mind and the rest will follow
    “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue.
  • why do i ask when it’s time for the mind to let go?
    That is something not even I can tell you. But I think I help you a little: that’s it for now, bye!