Just about a scam spam mail that’s been automatically translated into German…
Something’s missing here
From the shipping confirmation of a German online shop, Friday evening 9:42pm (my translation):
The shipment is transported with the shipment number by DHL.
Starting the next work day, you can query the current status of your shipment with the address given below on the DHL website or at the DHL telephone number 01802 – 30 22 00 (0.06 EUR per call).
(If an error occurs when executing the link, please copy the complete link into the input field of your browser.)
Shipment number? Link? Erm… 
The parcel finally arrived on Tuesday. Apparently the quick Friday night shipping didn’t work after all…
Safer than the Stock Exchange!
Thanks a lot to the book store/office supplies/lotto retailer Pesch for this investment tip!
Translation: “Play Lotto – Lotto is safer than the stock exchange!!!”
I immediately followed that recommendation and invested all the money I had left thanks to this financial crisis into four lotto tips. I’ll report tomorrow night after the drawing what the result is. Keep your fingers crossed for me, throw salt over the shoulder, knock on wood, whatever brings luck! 
Note: From a legal point of view, this is no investment advice, you’re responsible for your money yourself. Or what was that standard phrase again…?
Now what was it?
Another typical 419 scam – with just enough oddities to justify my commenting it; I removed some boring parts lest you fall asleep… I underlined the most noteworthy parts.
Subject: LETTER! – Sender: Commercial Bank
GREAT! A LETTER!
>From the Desk of:
Mr. Victor OdiliI am a Manager of a bank,
Which one? Couldn’t make up your mind this time? Man, those spammers are becoming lazier all the time…
writing you in respect of a foreign customer whom made a US$25M depository for an investment program that has remained dormant for years now. On personal investigation, I discovered that the account holder died in Ukrainian aircraft crash, without making a WILL on depository. I have secured from the probate an ORDER OF MANDAMUS to locate any of deceased beneficiaries
All occupants of the car unfortunately lost their lives.
Now what – aircraft or car? 
[…] I contacted you to seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you are a foreigner so that the proceeds of this account valued at US$25
You scumbag! You already grabbed $ 24,999,975 for yourself!
[…] If this proposal is acceptable by you, I expect that you will not take undue advantage of the trust I would bestow in you. I await your urgent response.
Thanks with great regards.
Mr. Victor Odili
Oh, a fraudster hopes not to fall victim to a fraud? Ha ha ha. Well, it’s irrelevant anyway, since the morons who seriously reply to mails like this weill never see anything of the promised millions.