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Enlightenment with Cimddology!

2008-05-26

ci Part 5 of my little satire series about mysticism and pseudoscience…
 

Erleuchtung Achieve ultimate enlightenment! Be 0.9997 with everything! Or even one!

As Master of Cimddological Enlightenment you will be able to virtually turn your thoughts into a cimddological atomic force picoscope and bend the spin network in all 26 dimensions at will! Clear the way to your innermost light!

The path to mastership leads over just a few tedious and absolutely overpriced bargain courses and seminars which really nobody anybody can afford! And the best: The first course is absolutely free of charge! * The succeeding courses will let you achieve easily step by step your 4D and 5D activation up to the 26D activation for all dimensions as well as the education to Microcim, Nanocim, Picocim etc., and at the end it’s just a little step to the European championship enlightenment mastership! Then everything is open to you:

  • Take a bath in quantum foam for absolute recreation!
  • Watch superstring wearers from closest distance without being noticed!
  • Learn to fly without using our extremely overpriced slop our Cimddyon Water™ Plus!

As mentioned earlier, we are always deeply honest, so we have to mention that this education is a little costly – each course costs 1000x of the one before –, since we have to finance our luxury mansions in the Caribbean our research which demands a lot of material and energy.

To support your achieving ultimate cimddological enlightenment, you should also ignore have a look at our additional offers:

  • You have problems finding and cleaning your chakras? Just forget that rubbish and let your chuckras find you! Yes, that’s right, you don’t need to search for your chuckras, the chuckras will find you! (For a “little” compensation, of course.)
  • Use our Cimddyon massage oil – an emulsion with our well-known Cimddyon Water™ – for your massages, it guides and amplifies the vibrations and energy of your massaging body parts; best use your (bald!) head or your buttocks! Who told you that nonsense about the hands transmitting spiritual energy the best way??
  • Learn to use the phases of the moon for you and e.g. impale people you don’t like with the crescent – we will show you how!

You see we won’t skip anything to give you lies solutions for all your life’s situations!

Bla!

 

* plus hall rent, travel, accomodation and catering. Course duration 5 seconds approx.

Photo by Stas Perov – Fotolia.com

Moles on Mars!!!

2008-05-26

The new Mars lander Phoenix touched down last night, everything seems to have worked well, scientists cheer about the first images – and what do I see:
THERE ARE MOLES ON MARS !!!1one

You don’t believe it? See yourself – on the left the original image where I marked the spot, top right the detail section, in the middle with enhanced contrast, bottom from this false-color version:

Mole on Mars

Now if that don’t look like a mole peering out of the ground – it almost seems to swim in it – what else? :P

For comparison, a photo of a mole from Earth:
mole
(by Michael Dufek, see Wikipedia)

PS: Yes, of course I’m just joking, playing around a little with this pareidolia, of course this is just a rock.
:loll:

“You can see more my photo’s”

2008-05-23

Dating scam spam just keeps on flowing – now it’s a pretended Helen from the USA who wants to find friends, and if it really was an American who wrote this, (s)he’s not better than an automatic Russian–English translation program, not only because of the silly plural apostrophes:

You can see more my photo’s

Hallo, my name’s Helen

Im 28, i live in Ashville NC, USA.
I am woman who’s looking to meet some new people and friends.
You can see more my photo’s and about me
at my Website Home Page: http://[…].110mb.com
if you wanna chat plz send me letter.

my peronal e-mail: kurey.helen@gmail.com

i’ll be wait 4 your letter with a great impatience :-) :-) :-)

Helen

p.s Du darfst mir auf dem Deutschen schreiben.
Ich verstehe ein wenig Deutsche die sprache.

The last two lines in wrong German re-translate to “You may write to me on the German. I understand a little Germans the language.”

The page (on a normal free hoster; I downloaded it with an editor, so there might actually be a browser switch that tries to infect e.g. Internet Explorer) is kind of a profile page with a few brief specifications where the city now is called “Asheville” and where she dreams about the sea and finding friends, “and if any good things developed from a solid friendship, then it would be a great bonus!!”

Yeah, sure, that’s why “she” sends the mails via a Norwegian PC (probably a zombie) with a different sender name & address.

I won’t publish the enclosed photo this time – not because it were pornographic, but because I’m scared its kitschiness might scare off my visitors. :mrgreen: Just as the other photos that are linked to on that page (which were apparently grabbed elsewhere, as the path names indicate, and which don’t contain any malware according to VirusTotal) could hardly be more kitschy.

Update: To summarize the German comments below (thanks!): “She” kept mailing the same mails to many others, mentioning “she” were back in Russia and the language becoming typical for automatic translation, “she” hardly or never reacted to what the men replied, wants to know address and airport, and finally wants money – and there you have it, just a typical love scam. So just ignore “her”!

In October, “her” name’s now Lauren…

Radio controlled clock wrong? – Tips

2008-05-23

Woman with clock Since people keep coming to my blog looking for hints on how to deal with wrong radio controlled clocks and find only my annoyed post about a particular specimen with its stupid programming that lets is be wrong on the days of daylight savings time changes, I thought I’d put together a few hints for other kinds of radio clock problems:

  • Don’t position it too far inside the building, closer to windows may be helpful (preferrably towards the transmitter, wherever that is for your area). This especially applies to buildings with reinforced concrete walls.
  • Not too close to other electronic devices, especially those transmitting radio signals themselves. Also, the proximity to metal objects can cause interferences.
  • Cheap receivers may have problems with weak batteries, so try fresh ones.
  • And you shouldn’t forget to look at the often available symbol indicating whether the clock still receives a signal at all. ;) For if it has to keep running off its own quartz, a cheap model might show visible differences after only a few days.

Further notes:

  • Since the signal data usually offers only very little means of error detection (single parity bits for parts of the data; even 2 (or 4 or 6…) bits received wron cannot be detected), low reception can easily cause the clock to set the wrong time, especially if it’s programmed (too) simply and does not compare the signals over several minutes to avoid such consistencies. (The time signal is transmitted every minute, containing 59 bits with 1 bit per second.)
  • Most clocks don’t check the signal all the time, but at most every hour or a few times per day – or just once, and hopefully not at 0:00 like the specimen I mentioned.

Hope this helps someone… If you got anything to add, note, or correct, feel free to do so in the comments.

Photo by Martin Schmid – Fotolia.com