Uri Geller

more content in German | mehr Inhalt auf deutsch

Tag Archives:

Uri Geller

Statistical aftermath

by cimddwc · 2008-11-17

Now what are the results – as far as they concern myself – of the incredible TV muck, erm, “experiment” called “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens” about which I reported more or less live?

A new record on Saturday that didn’t last long: WP.com-Stats counted 2826 page views (probably not 12am CET being their limit, but UTC), including 768 for the pre-report and 1120 for the live report. The best value since the start of my blog, even better than the 2549 in February – also thanks to Uri Geller.
The visitor run continued on Sunday: 3068 total, 1126 for the pre-report and 809 for the live report. On early Sunday afternoon, the average of the last 6 months was already reached in November.
Almost all searchers arrived at the pre-report initially – which I expected and placed a big link there. (And of course this also contributed to the high total page views.) The pre-report was also in Google.de’s top 5 for several search word combinations, sometimes even ahead of ProSieben, the show’s TV station. And the highest-placed blog.
Bloggerei.de counted on Saturday until midnight 423 unique visitors1 for the live report, which was enough for no. 12 in the top topics list; there were a total of 1295 visitors on Saturday. (Which also means that another estimated 350-400 visitors were satisfied with the pre-report. Or unsatisfied and left again. Or didn’t notice the link after all.)
On Sunday, I temporarily reached no. 5 in the top topics and rank 28 in the top blogs list, as far as I noticed (there’s no history) – 2110 unique visitors total, about 700 for the live report.
Addendum: Originally I had left out the data from browser-statistik.de in order to not overload this post with numbers, but since Jan, who operates the site, cried so heart-rendingly (“ ”), I added them now: 2751 pages accessed by 1111 visitors on Saturday, 3061 pages by 2002 visitors on Sunday. Which put me on no. 9 on the charts there.
According to whos.amung.us, there were up to 53 online at the same time – even if that tool isn’t known for its reliability, it rather has outages (sometimes for hours) than counting too much.
Originally I had planned to update my report in every or every other commercial break – but when there still was none on 9pm (there apparently were rather few commercial customers), I quickly uploaded the first part (in German) anyway; after all, there were already several readers and a few comments.
13 commenters wrote 35 comments during the show; more were added later on – thanks!

The ratings were surprisingly low, rather disastrous for ProSieben – here’s the top 5 of Saturday’s primetime (source: teletexts):

Station	Show	Viewers aged 3+	Marktet share	Viewers 14-49 years	Market share
Sat.1	Chronicles of Narnia (movie)	5.56 Mio.	18.9%	3.25 Mio	27.6%
RTL	Das Supertalent (casting show)	5.55 Mio.	18.8%	3.09 Mio.	26.2%
ARD	Musikantenstadl (“folk” music)	5.32 Mio.	17.8%
ZDF	Unter Verdacht (TV movie)	4.57 Mio.	15.2%
Pro7	Uri Geller live	1.40 Mio.	4.8%	0.85 Mio.	7.3%
Rerun on Sunday morning		0.54 Mio.	6.1%	0.38 Mio.	8.6%

Now does ARD being that far ahead of Pro7 speak for the intelligence of the TV audience or against it…?

423? 42 and 23 blended together? Conspiracy!!!! [↩]

“Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens” – Report, opinion…

by cimddwc · 2008-11-15

…criticism, grumbling, call it what you want. At any rate, here I’m writing about today’s show “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens – Das unglaubliche Live-Experiment” (“The incredible live experiment”) on ProSieben (Germany).

You can even have your own message sent into space – but if you’re hoping for a real reply, you’re hoping in vain, the distances are just too long, and if there actually are intelligent beings “out there”, they’d have to understand the messages in the first place. No matter how pretentious the chief spoon fiddler’s talk is (my translation):

“Anything can happen”, Uri Geller says. He, too, has a personal message for the aliens: “We open our hearts and out thoughts for you. We strongly believe that you are somewhere out there. Please show yourselves in the night of November 15. The people will look out their windows and wait for your signal.”

Be careful, Uri, when the people look out the windows, they miss the commercials, and ProSieben won’t like that!

Guests

Mysticism eccentric Nina Hagen – present despite her recent virus illnes.
Ancient astronaut dreamer Erich von Däniken.
“The Next Uri Geller” (Germany) winner Vincent Raven.
“A man and a woman who, according to their own statement, first met in a spaceship. Today they are a couple and will be asked about their experiences with aliens during the show under hypnosis.” Oh dear.
By telephone from the USA: Edgar Mitchell – Apollo 14 astronaut and ufo believer. Note that the former is no basis of a higher credibility of the latter.
Host will be the same as for “The Next Uri Geller”: Stefan Gödde.

Beginning

What did ali comment at Florian’s live blogging (German) who’d also have liked to read along (translated):

But I’m already appointed for a fondue. Lots of cheese, too, but better.

Well then bon appetit – which I also wish my readers with this nice mess. After commercials with aliens in them in talk talk talk for accomodation, they’re starting overly punctual with Gödde’s and Geller’s prerecorded introduction and the Ukrainian radiotelescope, Geller promises that some of us will receive a reply, and the raven guy will take care of the soul contact – but somehow I’m missing the warning message “Don’t try this at home!” from the magic show…

A pale head with alien face tattoo on its back was briefly seen, then Gödde alredy starts with a lie by saying there will be messages sent into space for the first time – more respectable people have done so already via radio and space probes as well as more or less intentional all radio and TV stations for a long time.

But first a little film as introduction with some “c-lebrities” and Geller himself saying a few sentences. Geller says we’d deserve a true answer. From him? Impossible. Impossible in a different sense, too, the amount of applause he gets when entering the stage and reporting about his large ball of light as a child. The biggest experiment of his life is what is supposed to happen tonight – I rather think that was the test whether his cheap spoon trick would bring him success back then – and us viewers are to get pen and paper ready.

Switch to the Deep Space Center in Evpatoria/Ukraine, brief introduction of the radiotelescope – no money left for 16:9 in the recording, apparently, the presenter colleague Daniel Aminati looked quite fat. Direction of the ‘scope will be the star Hip 4872, 310 trillion kilometers away from us (32.8 lightyears, in the area of the Cassiopeia constellation). And the speed of light is “absolute madness” for him.

Ufo films

Uri Geller live, three “Aliens” and no UFOs

by cimddwc · 2008-11-02

Dies ist nur der Vorbericht zur Sendung.
» Zum Live-Bericht hier klicken!

This is just the preliminary report for the show.
» To go to the live report, click here!

At least that’s what I expect from the show “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens: The incredible TV experiment” on Saturday Nov 15, 2008 at 20:15 on ProSieben (Germany). For the guests can be labeled “aliens” in a way:

mysticism eccentric and (as ProSieben calls her) “world star” Nina Hagen – who really can be called “not of this world”;
Ancient astronaut dreamer and “Swiss success author” Erich von Däniken – in his “theories” also floating a little too high above reality (and also, being Swiss, an alien in Germany);
and “The Next Uri Geller” winner Vincent Raven – with his really alien performances.

Well then, as I did for the magic shows with Geller’s gibberish called “The Next Uri Geller” I will have a look at this concoction (and hopefully survive it) and report live or at least shortly after the end of the show, maybe with an intermediate update or two. (Though the English version will probably take a little more time.)

ProSieben writes about this show (all quotes my translations):

Uri Geller doesn’t doubt the existence of extraterrestrials:
“All my life I believed in ufos and aliens. Everyone should look up to the sky in a cloudless night and ask himself: Is it really possible that we’re alone? I think nobody can tell.”

The chief spoon bender, however, forgets to distinguish between life somewhere in space and actual visits here on earth – he probably thinks that everything is “just around the corner” and can be reached easily.

In a unique experiment, he wants to try to establish contact

That’d better be null-ique – certainly it won’t be an experiment that deserves this name, but instead the next of Geller’s dumbing of the masses. With an audience in the millions. Where “The Next Uri Geller” still had the somewhat entertaining magic tricks from the contestants, this show can only become some kind of “freak show”…

Together with the audience, the world-famous mystifier will send messages over a radio telescope into space. What will be the replies?

None. At any rate, not in the next few years. Anything else can only be tricks. The TV DIGITAL magazine writes about this teensy-weensy problem (emphasis mine, translation too):

In 1974, the astrophysicist Frank Drake in Arecibo sent a message towards the star cluster M 13. However it will only arrive there in 20000 lightyears[sic!]. Since Uri Geller doesn’t want to wait that long, he will rely not only on radio waves in the show, but also other means: “I need the viewers’ assistance”, the mentalist living in England says. “With the collective power of our thoughts, we will be able to establish contact. This has never been tried before.”

Never tried before? Geller indeed came up with a new trick after all those years?? A miracle! But probably all that’s new is that it’s pretended aliens instead of people who are the pretended telepathy transceivers.

But no matter how they will stage that, I had received the true greetings from the aliens back in September – thanks to spacetime loops.

Let’s have Erich von Däniken give the last word (from an interview in the TV DIGITAL):

You believe, like Uri Geller, that aliens exist. When will we be able to meet the aliens?
“The Maya in Central America have given a date for the return of their gods, i.e. the extraterrestrials. If you believe in this calendar, then it’s December 21, 2012. But you have to convert their date to our calendar. A very insecure thing.”
What a luck for you, for you could be nailed down to it otherwise, couldn’t you?
“Yes, and then everybody says: Neener-neener! [Ätschbätsch!]”

Which is also what all these guys can say whenever they find more people who believe their balderdash…

This is just the preliminary report for the show.
» To go to the live report, click here!

Extraterrestrial Greetings to Uri!

by cimddwc · 2008-09-30

The following message was received by my hyper-highly sensitive cimddologically enhanced sensors on twisted routes through as yet unresearched space-time loops – hence I could not determine its exact origin in space and time yet.

To: Uri Geller and his soul mates
From: Your friends from the planet ...1
Subject: Heeelloooo!

Dearest Friends,

We were really really excited about your message, since we really couldn’t imagine that there were still sooo many wacked out dreamers that believe in us. That’s totally cool! It causes huge POSITIVE VIBRATIONS!

Specially for you, our greatest fans, we immediately set out holistically to fly to you. Unfortunately, due to subtle space-time turbulences in hyperspace, we can’t tell exactly when we will arrive, but with the support of the GREAT ORIGINAL GODDESS we will surely make it before the next after the next end of your world.

A ginormous load of UNIVERSAL ENERGY is waiting right for you... but, well, we have to talk a bit first, you see?

Dearest Uri,
please stop bending spoons all the time, that also bends space-time in the whole multiverse! We don’t like that that much, you know? Even simple stellarnet mails like this can be lost in time, and not even the MASTERS of the Universal Hierarchy can help then, and this makes them all sad.

Dearest Nina,
do you know that your styling is the latest fashion here on our planet now?!? Oh, and it was megagreat how you scared away that “sensible scientist” (pah!) – toootally celestial!2 Can you also give us some of your enormous LIGHT ENERGY? The colleagues from your last meeting were enthused about its mind-expanding effect!

Dearest Erich,
great how you made the journey to your own TRUTH and still can feed on it after so many years! But awww, it’s a pity that all your UFO evidence are mean counterfeits from the DEVIL. :( Pray to the LADY that She helps you find the right way again, then the ANGELS will bring you the *real* evidence that you are longing for so much.

Dearest Vincent,
oh come on, set the ravens free. It’s bad for the karma to use the creatures of Mother Nature, the All-Power, the GODDESS for one’s own purposes – and besides, all other ravens have to work overtime to guide all those souls to the KINGDOM OF THE DEAD. So please, set them free if you love them, will youuuu?

Okily-dokily, don’t be upset, hm? Hope to see you all soon!

Spiritual greetings with lots of violet love,
Your extraterrestrial friends

As Wunschliste.de reports (German), among others, ProSieben plans a show on November 15 called (translated) “Uri Geller live – Ufos & Aliens: The incredible TV experiment”, in which he wants to send messages with a radio telescope. Talk guests in the studio: “The Next Uri Geller” winner and raven daddy Vincent Raven, the ancient astronauts dreamer Erich von Däniken and “singer” and mysticism eccentric Nina Hagen.

unfortunately, there was a transmission error at this point [↩]
They obviously refer to the little stir last year when she made Joachim Bublath leave due to her UFO babblings. [↩]

“The Next Uri Geller” 2008 for statistics lovers

by cimddwc · 2008-03-14

This is about a show from the first German season of “The Next Uri Geller” from early 2008. You can also:
» Show all my reports from the first season.
» Show everything about the second season 2009.
» Show really all articles about Uri Geller.

A few small, somewhat useless diagrams about this mixture of mental-magic entertainment arts, brainwashing of the people by claims of “real powers”, and boredom…

Ratings

Updated diagram with world final’s ratings (#9) after the German final (#8):

ratings

Overtime

How many overtime minutes did the shows have (compared to the original announcements, not the teletext/EPG data)?